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Archive for May, 2009

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May 27th, 2009 No comments

This is on my blogroll, but it’s cool enough to justify a full post.

Danielle is an um, intern? Resident? I dunno, she’s a doctor learning a specialty. Her specialty is pediatrics, maybe specifically pediatric ICU (her preferred term is “pediatricious”, of course coined by a sick kid.). She mostly blogs about this (carefully de-identified, I’m sure) but some other things pop up occasionally. Her posts are occasionally funny, often sad but always awesome.

Example!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Honey Bee
In a crowded elevator headed towards the cafeteria, a mother wheeled in her profoundly disabled daughter. The little girl had tight braids in her hair, topped off by brightly colored plastic balls. She howled and giggled all sorts of guttural noises.

A little boy towards the back of the elevator pushed through the crowd and came right up to the front of her wheelchair. He cocked his head to the side and squinted.

And those of us in the elevator, watching, simultaneously took a deep breath, just imagining what uncomfortable question he might ask the mother.

Then he took his chubby little boy hand and patted the girl’s knee.

“I wike your hair-doo.”

If you didn’t get gooey right there and let go an involuntary “Awwww”, well, you failed your Voight-Kampff and you know what that means.

So clean!

May 26th, 2009 No comments


So clean!, originally uploaded by JW Doom.

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Boo! Boooo!

May 22nd, 2009 3 comments

This is the building that didn’t hire me. Fie on thee!

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Apt 202

May 21st, 2009 2 comments

What I’ll miss about Apt 202:
The three part mirror on the medicine cabinet. Sometimes you want to know what’s up with the back of your head.

Shelves. It had a plethora. New place is lacking.

Hardwood floors. Apt 208 is half carpeted. Good thing I already had a bottle of Resolve.

Ventilation. Apt 202’s bathroom had a fan and a heat lamp with smaller fan and a timer. Apt 208’s has a little passive vent over the tub. Kitchen 202 also had a hood vent, 208 again just a passive vent.

Hot Lips across the street. :-(

What I won’t miss about Apt 202:
Hot water took FOR. EVER.

Noise. I’ve covered this plenty elsewhere.

The front room. It was like a mini-landfill without the seagulls. Or stench. Or disease. Or piles of garbage. Okay, “landfill” was a tad melodramatic.

Smoke detector. Apt 202’s went off when I made toast. Apt 208’s is supposedly very sensitive as well but there’s a window opposite it from the kitchen that should draw off any minor smoke.

Culture jamming events (aka riots) on Burnside.

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Hilarious review of a terrible book

May 16th, 2009 No comments

Yet another wonder from tvtropes.org.

I quote (without link, for a certain someone who can’t read underlined text, apparently).

“Deciding the wait for the woman’s bathroom is too long, Louise slips into the men’s room in hopes of relieving herself quickly. There she is assailed by the stench of the men’s room and the sight of the gorgeous man at the urinal:

‘And the sight of the huge cock the knight is holding in his right hand as he shakes off the last few drops of pee is even more dazzling.'”

Oh yeah.

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Twilight: The Abridged Version

May 14th, 2009 3 comments

Suddenly, ROBERT PATTINSON enters. The paleness of him and his family members reach blinding levels while the squeals in the movie theater reach deafening levels.

KRISTEN STEWART
Who’s the albino Wolverine?

Thank you, TV Tropes for linking me to that. Bless you, sirs. Bless you.

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First night

May 10th, 2009 3 comments

There’s a little more neighbor noise than old place. That floor plan minimized people walking by. I heard some footsteps from upstairs this morning. Still no drunks outside (esp since I have interior windows!) so I should be able to handle it.

The only three prong outlets up in this biotch are in the kitchen and bathroom. Oops. The rest of the outlets are triple 2 prong outlets, which I’d never seen before. It is 100ish years old. Adapters FTW! Lecture moment: This is a potential danger, if a metal cased appliance shorts internally you could be electrocuted without that third prong (the round one). In this case I doubt a building this old is grounded to current NEC anyway. I hope I don’t have anything with a metal case.

The wifi service seems pretty good. Been streaming audio all night with nary a burp.

And if you’re curious, this is the east (albeit hanger intensive) way to move clothes. (note: I’ve never used the photo function of the WordPress iPhone app, so I dunno where that pic is gonna end up)

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Another winner!

May 8th, 2009 1 comment

Finish your drink.

Make sure you’re seated securely.

Click

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The soccer situation

May 4th, 2009 1 comment

When I was a wee tot, when the world was raw and unformed and Jesus was the rootinest tootinest dinosaur cowboy EVAR (that’s an old joke), I played soccer. Yes, I was one of them. I’m not sure how I ended up on that field with that ball. For those of you actually looking at me (not right NOW!) this might be hard to imagine but I was a scrawny kid. These shoulders and forearms and this gut? They came along later. Some time after high school. The only possible athletic quality I possessed was running.

Therefore, soccer. Maybe, I really can’t remember.

I started young, like first grade I think. I played until fifth or sixth grade, when I would have had to try out for the team. There was no way I was going to put myself through that, although looking back I was a pretty good player. I wasn’t superstar material, I don’t know how far I would have made it but then I wasn’t bad at all. I was coachable, I knew the game and I worked hard. For the coach, anyway, I was less cooperative with the dad volunteers. Even then I had an attitude. You’re shocked, I know. Anyhoo, I usually played defense but I played every position except goalie at some point.

I’d had quite enough of soccer. Specifically of soccer players. From about year three when it started to become clear who was going to be really good and who wasn’t (I was the latter) all the way through after high school when I started having more control over who I hung out with, every soccer player I met was in need of an attitude adjustment of the shit smacking out of variety.

I have a number of other soccer beefs. I still think any sport that routinely ends with 0-0 ties is bullshit. I still see no reason we should care about what the rest of the world does or likes. I still suspect soccer fans are maybe a little ashamed of sharing America with Wal-Mart employees (as am I) and are perhaps indulging in a little idealizing of Europe (googling “racism in soccer” would put paid to that idea).

But really, I still hate soccer players. So when my coach asked me to try out, several times, I said no. Hell no on the inside.

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Sloth is my favorite deadly sin

May 2nd, 2009 2 comments

On the fifth I will have been unemployed for four months. I’m not one to draw much self worth or identity out of job/work/career/whatever, but being this time has had a marked effect on my energy level. That is, I don’t have any. Sure I go to the gym and my krav maga classes. (dot dot dot)

Yeah, that’s about it. When I roll out of bed about eleven.

Financially I’m doing okay. With the insurance on my credit card working (covers my minimum payments) I’m getting enough on the dole to cover my bills and if I’m careful (which I am sometimes) I don’t hit my savings account too hard. As an amusing aside, I pulled $20 out of my savings account yesterday and about shit myself when I looked at the balance on my ATM receipt. Then I remembered that I had to pay my first month’s rent on the new apartment from my savings. Heh heh. Whew. And as long as the economy is in the shitter I’m expecting regular extensions.
I’m looking for a job, but, yeah. Anyway.

I have been eating like shit. I don’t think I even brought groceries last week. During Lent I was really good about it, but since then I’ve been terrible. Too much pop, too much eating out. When I cook at home I use a lot of veggies and eat a lot of salads, when I eat out I always get a refill at the fountain. I can see the difference in my mirror. I haven’t even been drinking much water lately. It’s a wonder I poop at all. I need to formally diet, but my bathroom and food scales are dead. And I have higher financial priorities for the moment (driving lessons and my hosting fees on this very website). Until then I’ll just have to be more careful.

I’m not really writing. At first I was taking a break after finishing the most recent draft on my manuscript (which, if anyone would like to read it and give feedback, let me know). Then I was doing background stuff on an idea I have that, um, doesn’t have a story yet. Oops. Then I discovered this site. But the job near miss last week put urgency back into my writing. Jobs fucking suck. I need to write. I’ve got an idea that’s been kicking around for a few years. I’ve made a few attempts to get it started but I couldn’t find a hook. Lately I found a way to use some other ideas I had that I thought were throwaways and make the project multi-POV, which I’m excited about.

So, there. I need to get my shit together. Get up earlier, write more, cook more of my own food, drink less pop and more water specifically.

Right now, I need to take a shower.

See what I mean? Layzeee!

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