Archive for April, 2009

I’ll take things that are suboptimal for $200, Alex

April 28th, 2009 No comments

The very same same day I ripped loose a post so angsty it made my bangs grow down to cover my face and my lip to spontaneously pierce itself matters conspired to reveal just what a whiny bitch I really am. Yeah, I got a second interview (which I’m sure most of you knew anyway).

I’m heading home from it right now and I still hate the interview process. I don’t know what could replace it, tho.

To the question: how did it go? I have no fucking idea. They’ll call me or not, I’ve done what I can.

And in other news (again, old) I got my driving permit. This makes me sad. Cars are fail, but one made indispensable. At any rate I’m not getting a car (where I live? FUCK that.) but I really need to be able to drive for work. I bet I’ve covered that somewhere else. Oh well.


On the matter of lodgings….

April 27th, 2009 2 comments

A little over a year ago I (finally) moved out of my mom’s house. I’d been there for about three years while I back to school’d. The plan had always been for it to be short term, I’d find a part time job and a cheap apartment and be an adult again.

That didn’t quite work. I’ll never understand how people can work two full time or mostly full time jobs. There was a period I was getting 25-30 hours a week in a dishpit in North Portland and going to school 4 nights and 2 days a week. It about killed me. And I still couldn’t find anywhere I could afford to live and get out of my place once in a while. Thus with a heavy sigh I gave up and admitted I would be at my mom’s house until I finished school and found a real job.

I did both of those, then started looking for a place. I wanted to live in NW Portland, hopefully Old Town. Downtown would be second best. Inner SE a distant third and anywhere else would be a cause for tears. I found an apartment right on Burnside, a decent sized one bedroom for the low, low price of $700/month. This was a bit more than I’d budgeted but was at least $200 less than I was finding anywhere else. I figured all I needed was a studio but those weren’t coming up. This, I decided, was too good to pass up and with only a little hemming I leapt. When it was offered to me, management actually knocked $25 off the rent, which makes me wish I was actually good at negotiating.

And there I was. An adult again, living above one of the cooler bars in town. On a major street, where the garbage, recycling and delivery guys stopped to service the building and/or bar. With southern exposure that woke me up between 5:30 and 7am every day. Then the smoking ban and drunks on the sidewalk all night long. I understood why it was so cheap.

But it was as good as it got, right?

Then came unemployment and number crunching and figuring out when I’d have to do something drastic. The Dole was enough to get by (esp when my credit insurance started covering my minimums) and I had plenty of savings to maintain the abuse of my organs. But it wouldn’t last forever and job prospects were BAD. Not boldfaced bad, but all caps bad, BAD.

Then a text, from Galleyhag (I didn’t make that up, she did), a studio in her building, a scant six(ish) blocks away, for $515/month. I recall staring at my iPhone for a moment, waiting for that to turn into a reasonable number. But it persisted.

So, let’s think about this, a quieter neighborhood, a more reasonable size apartment (trust me, I’m swimming in this one bedroom, it’s really just more shit to get dirty), free utilities (did I forget to mention that, yeah, free utilities), the building has a wifi service. It’s really close to the streetcar and further away from the fast food options that plague my dreams (I can hear you 24hr McDonald’s window, cease your siren song). Plus there’s a convenience store nearby open until 10pm, there’s one a little further off open until 2:30am.

And $160 a month, cash, in my pocket, which might end depredations on my savings account, maybe (just maybe would keep me out of it (the wifi service would equal my average power bill here).

In exchange for no longer having a grocery store across the street and losing quick access to MAX and #15 & #20 busses. Oh, and I wouldn’t be living across the street from a Hot Lips Pizza. That last one actually hurts pretty bad, and I’ll miss MAX being so close, but I’m typing this with a receipt for the deposit in the other room. There’s the answer.

Official move in date is the 9th. Gotta give notice here soon, that will give me a few weeks to do some moving.



I can ruin anything. Watch me.

April 24th, 2009 3 comments

Who the fuck invented job interviews? More to the point, who designed them to be a God damned torment? Waterboarding? Ha! You want torture, sit at a table with someone who already has a fucking job and wants to know what your fucking 5 year plan is. Osama would off himself before he had to sit through that.

This isn’t a happy one, you probably shouldn’t click on more.

Read more…


British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.

April 18th, 2009 No comments

Uncomfortable plot summaries.
The above is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There’s a ton more here, I’ll quote a just a few from my favorite movies.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents. (MESSAGE!)

I laugh. You laugh. All happy.


Epic win!

April 15th, 2009 No comments

Epic win!, originally uploaded by JW Doom.

$5 at the Jolly Roger.


Nice word, I’ll keep it.

April 13th, 2009 1 comment

What I love about is it’s funny, but smart. They don’t need to make shit up to make you laugh (look up the list of laws that don’t work for a prime example).

On a related note, what I love about English is how we shamelessly jack words from weaker, dumber languages. What are you gonna do about it? Huh? You gonna cry? That’s right, bitch, this is my word now.

Ahem. Sorry.

The 10 Coolest Foreign Words English needs.

My favorite is #7. “Backpfeifengesicht”, defined as “A face badly in need of a fist.” In context, “That soccer player is seriously backpfeifengesicht.” Because it’s true. But, um, anyone know how to pronounce that?

If you’re curious…

April 12th, 2009 3 comments

Every year someone is surprised that I observe Lent. I always hear at some point “I didn’t know you were Catholic.” and I reply that I’m not. Sometimes this draws the question of why I do it. My answer is somewhat flippant but ultimately accurate. Because I think being nailed to a tree is a shitty way to die. Hopefully no one takes it as a brush off, but it succeeds in informing people that I am a Christian while dissuading any serious religious discussion. But just in case, in brief detail (do those go together?), here’s my deal.

I’m a creationist because I don’t believe all of this just happened. No, I don’t see a conflict between that and evolution. Fundamentalism is fail.

I’m a Christian because I believe the Golden Rule is the finest philosophy in the history of thinking. Since it boils down to “don’t be a dick” I obviously struggle with this at times.

I believe we are the way God wants us to be. This clearly conflicts with some elements of the Bible (the flood in particular) but that book isn’t even internally consistent, which is one reason I’m not fundamentalist. #3 comes up a lot given the amount of time I spend in bars and/or drooling over guns. Why we’re this way is a question I can’t answer, but I suspect it’s for His entertainment.

As for the details, did the virgin birth, resurrection etc really happen? I dunno. If I believe in creation I accept the possibility the Big Dude decided to get personally involved, but I really don’t think it’s important in the end. I mostly focus on the not being a dick part. I’m working on that.

There it is. Share yourself if you feel so inclined. Don’t expect me to join in any debates, tho. I need to go find a 55 gallon drum of Mt. Dew (thank you God, for giving us caffeine!)


Laugh ’til you puke funny

April 8th, 2009 1 comment

Or perhaps some other bodily function. I wouldn’t rule out blood spraying from your eyes.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

p.s. The pics also come in disturbing, check this one out.

EDIT!: that pic was photoshoppe. Check out the comments.


“…I think it makes sense for maturity be the goal.”

April 8th, 2009 1 comment

Streaming audio from, a bit over 15 min long.

I’m not 100% with this guy but he says some things I’ve noticed about kids getting smothered and how this generation of parents are misguided.

About maturity, which this guy describes as “the ability to take other people’s perspectives & to manage destructive feelings & to take criticism and to learn from it, to be self-observing”. I definitely see a lack of that as I go about my day, every day.

I just realized that I don’t know any parents. But I’m sure some of you do and maybe you can find a way to get them to listen to this.

Tags: ,

Oh well

April 6th, 2009 1 comment

Just got out of my rescheduled interview. He said my skills were too “fresh” for what he needed, which is a good adjective. He needs someone he can drop into the job, on their feet in a few weeks. Which is definitely not me.

Net positive experience. I know what I need to look at, what my last job neglected. I know what to tell (maybe warn is a better word) future prospective employers.

And this job wasn’t a prize. It was going to pay me less than the dole. This guy is going to have trouble finding what he needs unless there are a grip of people used to cheapskate hotel wages. And there probably are.

Also, it goes on my list of job contacts if the Employment Department decides to check up on me.