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Archive for August, 2008

Reading Transmetropolitan (vol…

August 26th, 2008 No comments

Reading Transmetropolitan (vol. 5) on a treadmill is dangerous.

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Bike Angst

August 25th, 2008 No comments

Before I moved downtown, I’d have told you I had a love/hate relationship with my bike, and the hate was mostly due to the behavior of my fellow cyclers.

Now, I’m not feeling the love so much. It’s not the bike that’s the problem (I heartily recommend Marin bikes). The problem is cycling clothes are a rip off. If you decide to take up cycling to get around (and I do recommend it for a variety of reasons), don’t buy a stitch of dedicated cycling gear.

Rainy/cold season: Last fall my beloved Burley jacket finally died. And the company had been bought out, outsourced and discontinued their apparel lines (stupid hippies can’t apparently turn an excellent, popular product into a successful company, jackasses). So I invested in some new gear for the rainy season. This is when I realized that cyclers just expect to be miserable when riding, and I’ll never understand why. It was impossible to find an adequately ventilated jacket. Cycling gloves are Mickey Mouse thick and still not waterproof. If you get “rain pants” you end up with a mobile sauna that looks like something MC Hammer would have worn in a video (they inflate). If you get “trail pants” they’re not even marginally resistant to water. I found an actually excellent pair of booties, but I broke the zippers on three of them (the fourth pair is still going strong, but I haven’t needed them much lately.) I remember storming into the locker room at my work in an absolute rage, soaked with sweat on top and rain on the bottom and spending fifteen minutes venting to another bike commuter about the shit I’d just bought.

Then he told me he rides in mountain gear. Grrrrr.

Serious cyclers will tell you that it’s impossible to be waterproof and not too hot (or that waterproofing is impossible). I refuse to accept that. I didn’t go to krav last week because it was supposed to rain on the two days that my class is held and just thinking about it was depressing. I think I’ll take homeboy’s advice and hit REI. They have a generous return policy for members and I’ll return as many as I need. I’ll buy reflectors to put on them or something.

Summer: Cycling gear is UGLY. Seriously. The best expression of cycling fashion is that stupid beanie serious cyclers wear. What the fuck is that? Does that tiny little visor DO anything? It’s an inch long. What good is that? And it looks STUPID. When I first got my bike I picked up a few special shirts of a wicky material with that half zipper (you may have seen Lance Armstrong riding in ad-covered versions of this shirt). While it convinced me that wicky materials are the awesome, a: Target sells tees of the stuff for $12, REI for $18, a fraction of the price of something with a cycling label on it; b: these shirts look gay, but are so ugly no self respecting gay man would ever wear one. Then there’s those shorts. The “hey, look at my balls” shorts. Someone makes them with a normal looking shell, but I’m afraid to even think of how much those cost. Cycling shoes are ridiculously expensive and usually lock into the pedal (guess what happens if you don’t get your foot free quickly?) and if you wear normal shoes they get torn up by either the chain or by crap on the road. And two words: helmet hair.

So it would be Friday and I’d be thinking of stuff to do. I’m no fashion plate, but I’m working on it. So, do I ride my bike? Well, let’s see I’ll sweat my balls off, so I can’t wear any normal t-shirts, but I don’t want to walk around with visible sweat spots on a boring solid color wicky shirt. So I’ll have to cover that up, but then I’ll need a bag to take a cover shirt, because if I wear it riding, it’ll get sweaty, too. Then I can’t wear my awesome old school sneakers, because they’re suede, but my cross trainers are beat up FUCK IT I’ll take the bus or walk.

Sigh.

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being happy I’ve fulfilled mos…

August 23rd, 2008 No comments

being happy I’ve fulfilled most of my familial obligations for the year.

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Oops

August 19th, 2008 No comments

It looks like WordPress doesn’t like iPhone posts from the web. Sorry to anyone on my feed if they got a super jacked up post. I fixed it now. I’ve downloaded the WordPress app but I need to upgrade my blog before I can use it. Again, very sorry.

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Football

August 18th, 2008 No comments

NOT soccer thankyouverymuch.

I’m so over Brett Favre. The whole ordeal has the smell of “fine, I’ll take my ball and go home!” Very spoiled, very petulant, very, well, athletic.

If he was that pissed at Packers management he should have asked for a trade at the end of last season. Or better yet, used his unmatched fan support to pressure management to fix whatever he was pissed off about. But this retirement thing is some bullshit. Brett always had an aura of stand up guy, like Ripken or Piazza. But no, he’s really better than T.O. only in scale, not content (pre teary eyed defense of Tony Romo T.O., at that. And as a quick tangent, how fascinating was that moment?).

Now on the other hand I’ve NEVER liked Eli Manning. His drafting went off like a debutante who didn’t get the date she wanted. Just thinking of him pouting with that Chargers jersey in his hands is enough to make me question professional sports. And his career until lately wasn’t much better.

Until lately, that foreshadowing, folks.

I admittedly didn’t follow last season closely but the story in the news coverage could have been summed up: Eli’s balls finally drop. Really it was like watching him grow up over the last part of last season, right into the Super Motherfuckin’ Bowl. Manning to Tyree? Wow. (another aside, fuck Belicheat and that whole rotten organization)

So, provisionally, the Giants are my team. We’ll see how the kid handles himself.

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not digging this summer nonsen…

August 16th, 2008 No comments

not digging this summer nonsense

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Win

August 15th, 2008 1 comment

Staged? Maybe. Win? Yes.

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loving the cold, fizzy sweetne…

August 10th, 2008 No comments

loving the cold, fizzy sweetness. Cola, I heart you. MWAH!

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Real pain, fictional pain

August 6th, 2008 1 comment

I had to repeat week two of the pushup challenge. But BB gave me a hint: close your eyes.

HO-LEE SHIT! She’s right. Pushups are WAY easier with your eyes closed! What kind of mindfuck is that?

How do I repay her? I get her wasted on Jameson’s & Dr Pepper’s (a good combo, esp if you like Dr Pepper and don’t like Jamesons, and there was no Coke at AC/GC), because her Scarlet O’Hara accent comes out when she’s drunk. Tee hee. And it only took three measured shots.

Then I left. I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy.

In other news, my dental adventures are on hiatus. YAY!! My insurance benefit has run out until the “year” starts over in April. What a relief. Of course if something needs to be fixed (like the spot where broken teeth won’t let me floss), I’m kinda SOL. But I waited 15 years between dental work, so what’s eight months? Wait, eight months! I used up my insurance benefit in four fucking months? Wow. No wonder my credit card payments are killing me.

I’ve been on a reading storm. Some good stuff, some bad stuff, some stuff that’s way weirder than it needs to be. For instance, I read that book that Babylon AD is based on. It’s a translation of a French novel and apparently what we call “magazines” the French call “chargers”. Which if you know guns is interesting and if you don’t, is weird and boring. I find it interesting (and it’s actually a better word for it).

Finally saw the new Batman movie. I can’t help but critique the writing when I watch a movie. It sucks. And I finally just came to the conclusion that Batman, for all his badassocity, is a pussy. Just kill the fucking Joker already. Which is not to say the movie sucked. No, no it was pretty damned awesome.

Speaking of not-super superheros, I saw the trailer for the Watchmen movie. I think I may have blogged about it (I know I reviewed it on Goodreads) but I did NOT like the Watchmen comic book. I liked the premise (“masked adventurers”) but the story was lame and the nefarious plot sucked. But I gotta tell ya, Rorschach is so much more bad ass than Batman. If you see the trailer, Rorschach is the guy in the fedora and the funny mask and the voice that says:

The world will look up and shout: Save us. And I’ll whisper: No.

Okay, he’s kind of a dick. But you’d be, too in his position.

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