EXT. NORM'S BUS STOP, DAY

Open on SOUR MIX ("Mix"), mid-twenties, dressed in slacker clothes, hoodie, baggy cargo pants, sneakers, backpack.  He's waiting at a bus stop, asleep standing up, not leaning on anything.  He has a can of Rockstar in one hand and a burned out cigarette in the other.  He's wearing headphones and a club/dance remix of a rap song is playing. 

A car HONKS as it drives by and Mix jerks awake.

MIX

(at music)

Fuck!

Mix puts the cigarette in his mouth and reaches into his hoodie pocket.  The rap remix cuts off and a sad rock song like "Fade to Black" by Metallica comes on.

MIX

Better.

Mix starts to doze again.  A few beats later a bus comes to a stop in front of him.  The doors open.

DRIVER

Hey!

Mix wakes up, spits the cigarette out and boards.

MIX

Thanks, man.

He shows the driver his pass and collapses into the first open seat, falling asleep again.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S BBQ AND SANDY'S DOG GROOMING, DAY

Mix is smoking a cigarette as he walks in.  There's a sign over the hostess station that identifies the restaurant.  At the hostess station in front of the door, MADISON, early twenties, very fashionable, is on the phone.  She scowls at Mix as he walks by.

Mix walks through the dining room into the back, still smoking.  Two more snotty waitresses, SARA and NICOLE also scowl at him as he walks down the long hallway that is the wait station until he arrives at a door.

He opens the door to reveal pony tailed DRINKING DOG ("DD") and NORM, twenty-somethings similarly dressed to Mix in the former store room they have made their own. There are no greetings, but Mix reaches into his backpack and pulls out a bottle of Smirnoff vodka that he hands to DD.

DD

(to bottle)

Good mornin'

Mix drops his backpack in the middle of the floor and opens a locker to reveal a green three foot bong.

MIX

This cash?

NORM

Nope.

Mix bends over, isn't shown smoking from the bong, but the SCRAPE of a lighter and BUBBLING WATER can be heard. 

DD passes the bottle to Norm, who makes himself a screwdriver with a gallon jug of orange juice on the floor next to him.  More LIGHTER and BUBBLING noises from Mix.  Then Mix sits down on his double stack of milk crates taped together, exhaling a large stream of smoke.

MIX

See, that's much better. Gimme.

Mix passes him the vodka and Norm takes a pull from it.

MIX

Better still. Might actually do some work today.

DD

Likely story.

Mix and DD pass the bottle a few times.  Norm drinks his screwdriver. 

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, DAY

DD washes his hands, puts on an apron and walks to the window.

DD

Hey, Boyce.

On the other side of the window, on the line is a half Japanese half Belgian man, BOYCE, drinking from a quart of Miller High Life.  He salutes with the bottle before putting it back on a shelf and returning to his cooking.

BEGIN WORKING DAY MONTAGE

DD looks at a ticket on a tray, then hefts the tray onto one shoulder and walks out of the wait station, almost colliding with Madison.

MADISON

Um, corner!

DD ignores her, walks to a table of three and sets the entire tray down, then walks away without acknowledging the customers. Mix walks up behind him and puts a caddy with several bottles of sauce on the table also with no acknowledgment. Two of the customers look confused, but the third just reaches for a plate.

Norm takes a bus tub to a table and sweeps the plates and silverware into it with no heed of the noise it makes.  A few lunchers flinch at the sound.  He's more careful with the glassware.

Mix walks toward the kitchen.

CUSTOMER #1

Excuse me, the brisket.

Mix doesn't acknowledge the customer.

CUSTOMER #1

(continuing)

Does that come with, um, excuse me?

Mix walks up to Sara, who is chatting with Madison and grabs her by the arm.

Sara

Um, what are you doing?

Madison

Let go of her!

Mix ignores them and drags Sara to the customer.

MIX

He has a question.

Mix walks away.

In the wait station Norm and Mix are waiting for a big order to finish being laid on trays when Nicole storms in.

NICOLE

Table seven had dog hair in their food!

MIX

(sighs)

Not again!

NORM

Fuck this.  I need another hit.

They walk into their room.

In the lounge, the BARTENDER is serving a few early starters.  DD walks behind the bar and pours himself a very stiff Captain Morgan's and Coke in a pint glass.

BARTENDER

Hey, DD.

DD waves as he takes a drink from his glass.  He cleans up after himself before he leaves.

CUSTOMER #2

Why did you want to come here?  The service is horrible, everyone who works here is either retarded or visibly drunk!

CUSTOMER #3

Just wait, at the first taste you'll understand.

DD walks through the dining room, passing a table of two stylish, muscular guys with spiky hair getting very attentive service from Madison and Nicole.  He nearly growls as he walks by.  Nicole glares at him and DD flips her the bird.

END WORKING DAY MONTAGE

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, DAY

DD walks in with his glass, heading towards the room. Boyce is busy working.

DD

Another satisfied customer, Frogman.

BOYCE

(in accentless American)

I'm not French, asshole.

UNCLE CHUCK, a strung out gaunt man in his 60's wearing a cheap suit is kind of listening to Nicole talking about the dog hair.  He sees DD.

UNCLE CHUCK

Hey, Dog!  What's up?

Nicole throws her hands up in the air and growls before walking into the kitchen.

DD

Hey! Chuck!

DD and Uncle Chuck slap hands and tap fists.

DD

Was just about to step into the office, c'mon in.

UNCLE CHUCK

Don't mind if I do.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S STORE ROOM, DAY

DD

(exhaling smoke)

Night boys here yet?

NORM

I think so.

MIX

We shouldn't leave until they are.

UNCLE CHUCK

I appreciate that professionalism in my staff.

Someone POUNDS on the door.

RELIEF (O.S.)

You assholes gonna share?

MIX

Off the clock.

DD

Another day, another dime bag.

NORM

You gonna sit on that motherfucker all damn day?

UNCLE CHUCK

If you think about it, I really bought this weed, so.

Uncle Chuck takes another hit.

MIX

So what the fuck are we up to tonight?

DD

No idea.

NORM

It's Saturday, someone's gotta have a party.

MIX

Party? Why the fuck would we want to go to a party?

UNCLE CHUCK

Girls and booze someone else paid for.

DD

You are a wise, wise man.

UNCLE CHUCK

I try.

NORM

That's precisely what I was thinking about.  I'm about tapped out with these last bags some motherfuckers I know didn't chip in on.

He looks at Mix, who has just finished taking a hit.

MIX

(exhaling smoke)

Waaaaaaaaah!

UNCLE CHUCK

You need some?

NORM

Nah, I'm okay. Just make sure your girls tip out.

UNCLE CHUCK

Do I ever fail?

DD

Not once.

MIX

You're more reliable than Shaft, my man.

UNCLE CHUCK

Damn right.

Uncle Chucks stands, he's not entirely steady.

UNCLE CHUCK

If you guys eat, don't snag any of the specials.

The guys mutter assents as Uncle Chuck staggers from the room.  Mix and Norm produce cell phones and dial.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, NIGHT

NORM (O.S.)

Should we get another bottle?

DD (O.S.)

There's a combination lock on the cabinet.

MIX (O.S.)

Alec, you fucking douchebag.

The trio comes out of the store room.  They've ditched their aprons for hoodies, jackets and backpacks. They each grab a plate from the window as they leave out the back door.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT, CONTINUOUS

DD and Norm trade as they walk down an alley onto the street and they all start eating.  They're in a residential area, it's pretty quiet as the sun goes down.  When they finish their dinners, the plates are tossed into bushes or someone's lawn.

Mix's cell rings.

MIX

(into cell phone)

Hey, dude, what's up, anything going down tonight? Yeah. Yeah. Where? Who's it? Uh huh. Cool, we're there. Yeah, we'll be there whenever.

Mix snaps his cell phone shut.

MIX

Got it.

DD

Let the pretty boys tremble, for we are en route. Where is this fucker?

MIX

Over by Reed.

DD

Shit.  We better not run into any fucking hippies.

MIX

I dunno, I haven't killed anyone in, like, days.

DD

That six year old in your closet is still kicking?

MIX

Shit, I forgot about her. Okay, hours, then.

NORM

Are we taking the rail or the bus?

INT. SOMEONE'S HOUSE, NIGHT

Mix, Norm and DD enter a living room crowded with kids in their late teens, a few early twenties. There's pop punk music playing.

DD

Look at all of this young desirable snatch.

NORM

It's like a bakery, fresh pie everywhere.

MIX

Focus, people!  Booze will always allow itself to be drunk, weed to be smoked and food to be eaten. Young girls from good families are not reliable about being violated.

DD

I dunno, I'm feeling violate, uh, violable?  Violatingly? Vio-  Ooh, that one's pretty hot.

NORM

Except for her nose.

DD

What's wrong with her nose?

NORM

She's got an absorbed twin sticking out of her face.

DD

Oh, I forgot you're a connoisseur of fine poon. What about last month?

NORM

You don't ride a moped away from a party!

Mix grabs DD and Norm.

MIX

Food, booze, weed. Fall back to this position in ten minutes. Go!

Quick montage of the trio wandering through the party. Norm openly leers at women, DD just smiles at the ones who maintain eye contact. Mix barely pays attention. None of them notice the glances they get.  The song has changed when they are all in front of the door again.

DD

No joy on the important bits but I found whozit.

MIX

What?

NORM

Beer.

Norm's pockets are bulging with cans of beer, he hands out some to Mix and DD.

DD

That guy who invited us. What's his name?

MIX

Bryan.

NORM

I found the beer.

MIX

Good for you.

NORM

That was a hint.

Everyone cracks a beer and toasts.

ALL

Hot bitches.

They chug their first can and put the empties on a nearby table. Norm passes out replacements.

MIX

I smelled weed in the backyard, there's stairs leading to a basement or something.

NORM

No food?

DD

I think there's some in the kitchen, but it was full of people.

MIX

Shocking.  Food later, I think, then. Weed now?

DD

Did it smell good?

MIX

(waggles hand)

Eh.

NORM

C'mon, we can supplement whatever they got.

DD

You wanna share? Weren't you just bitching about how much that cost you?

NORM

Why not? None of these people chipped in, either.  Let's be good guests.

Norm finishes his second beer and tosses the can at the table, missing.

NORM

C'mon, fuckers. Let's be sociable n' shit.

INT. SOMEONE'S BASEMENT, NIGHT

The trio enters the basement where a circle of partygoers are passing a pipe around.

MIX

Greetings, friends.

DD

We come smokum peace pipe.

They shoulder their way into the circle. Mix takes the pipe from a surprised partygoer and lights it. Great surprise is expressed at both the size of his hit and how long he holds it in. It's three kids down before he finally exhales. DD is the next of the trio to smoke from it, but he doesn't hold his hit for long.

DD

All the way from Mexico, I'm impressed.

DD skips several partygoers to hand it straight to Norm, who knocks the pipe empty.

PROTESTING PARTYGOER

What the fuck?

NORM

Easy, kid, I'm gonna show you something.

Norm loads the pipe from a baggy and passes it to the protester.

NORM

Try that, scout. Small hit, baby.

The protesting partygoer lights the pipe and takes a puff. He clearly has trouble not coughing it out.  Norm takes the pipe and hands it to the person next in the circle after DD.

NORM

Take note, this brown shit you've been smoking, my pubes will get you higher.

As he speaks one of the circle starts coughing uncontrollably from the pot.

NORM

(continuing)

This is about the worst stuff I'm willing to smoke.

He gets the pipe and smokes. The pipe goes around the circle a few times.

HUNGRY PARTYGOER

I'm fucking hungry.

DD

No shit. Some a y'all go grab some chow for the community.

LAZY PARTYGOER

Are we your bitches?

MIX

Whose pot are you smoking there, shmuck?

LAZY PARTYGOER

(points at Norm)

His.

NORM

It's all about the community, man.  We all chipped in on this bag that we've been graciously sharing.

Mix and DD react to this.

NORM

So some of you all can make a food run.  I hope they got li'l smokies, I love those things.

HUNGRY PARTYGOER

(laughing)

Man, this ain't catered!

CURIOUS PARTYGOER

Who invited you guys, anyway?  Not that I have a problem with you being here, just curious.

MIX

Gentlemen of the world know they're always welcome.

CURIOUS PARTYGOER

So you crashed?

MIX

Nah, we know someone up there.

DD

How do we know that cat?

NORM

Fuck if I know, who's stalling here?

LAZY PARTYGOER

Oh, sorry.

(passes the pipe)

Okay, I'll get some food.

NORM

And bring down some beer, I'm out.

DD

You need bigger pants.

NORM

You need a bigger mouth so you don't choke on my cock so much.

The person smoking sputters and chokes on this comment.

MIX

Hey, hey, don't waste that!

COUGHING PARTYGOER

Oh, fuck. I'm way too high. I need some whiskey. Maker's anyone?

MIX

I'm always down for that. Lead the way.

Coughing Partygoer, Mix and another person leave the circle. The pipe makes another circuit.

DD

Shit, did he say Maker's?

The pipe reaches DD.

DD

Oh well, he's a big boy.

INT. SOMEONE'S KITCHEN, NIGHT

Mix is drinking with the other two from the pot circle below. His eyes have taken on a manic sheen and he's smiling a lot. Norm or DD would know this is not a happy state for Mix, but everyone else just thinks he's having a good time.

MIX

Oh, Maker's. Why can't a woman ever fulfill me the way you do? Hey, more here.

Mix holds out his glass for more.  Nearby, ANDREA and MOLLY, both late teens, are observing him.

ANDREA

Muscles there looks like a good candidate.

MOLLY

I'm not sure we should pull one of Adam's friends.

ANDREA

He's not a friend of Adam's.

MOLLY

What makes you say that?

ANDREA

He's not wearing a stitch of Abercrombie.

MOLLY

Oh, yeah.

ANDREA

Oop, look coy.

Molly and Andrea find something else to draw their attention as Mix looks about. He glances at the two girls, but doesn't appear to pay any attention to them.  Mix drains another large shot of Maker's and goes back to the bottle.

MOLLY

I'm not sure he's going to get the coy thing.

ANDREA

Most men don't. The direct route, then.

MOLLY

That's what we're here for.

Andrea and Molly casually drift towards Mix, their stealth is lost on him swilling yet another whiskey. Coughing Partygoer is starting to frown at Mix's Maker's consumption.

COUGHING PARTYGOER

I, uh.

Coughing Partygoer takes his cell phone from his pocket and puts it to his ear.

COUGHING PARTYGOER

(into phone)

Hey, what's up?  Yeah, kitchen. Be right there.

(to Mix)

Gotta go.

He leaves, taking the whiskey bottle with him.

MIX

Well, shit.

Mix puts his glass on the counter and gets a beer from a pocket.

ANDREA

Hi.

Mix cracks his beer and puts it to his lips, a few seconds passing between Andrea's greeting and the realization that she's talking to him.

MIX

Oh, hi.  Sorry, uh, I was attending to business.

Molly laughs at this. Andrea just smiles.

MIX

I'm Mick.

ANDREA

Hi, I'm Andrea.

MOLLY

Molly.

MIX

Very nice to meet both of you.  Oh, you don't have a drink.

He pulls another beer out, Molly reaches for it, but Mix takes a moment to tap the top of the can and open it, a little foam sloshes into the sink.

MIX

There you go.

MOLLY

Thank you.

ANDREA

What a gentleman.

MOLLY

I know.

Mix tips his beer back. Molly gives Andrea a questioning look, Andrea replies with a small nod.

MOLLY

How do you know Adam?

MIX

Friend of the family. Our dads went to high school together, or some shit.  You two?

ANDREA

Oh, high school. We graduated last year.

MIX

All of you?

MOLLY

Most of the people here, actually.

MIX

And what have you been doing with yourselves since graduation?

MOLLY

We're strippers.

Mix freezes with his beer halfway to his mouth.

MIX

Really?

ANDREA

Really, we work at Safari. Heard of it?

MIX

Ah, yeah, I have.

ANDREA

Ever been there?

MIX

Oh, not in a long time.  Well, I must say I can't think of a better use for such beauty.

MOLLY

Really?

MIX

Well, maybe one, or two things.

EXT. SOMEONE'S BACK YARD, NIGHT

DD is eying a gaggle of girls standing under a tree in the backyard hiding from the rain that has just started to fall. Some of them are eying him back. Norm walks up to him.

NORM

I think we might be wearing out our welcome. Bryan didn't tell the host we were coming. And we don't exactly fit in with the J Crew cult.

DD

Are we going to have to kill our way out?

NORM

If we're lucky. Where's Mix?

DD

Somewhere not fucking up his homie's flow.

NORM

Oh, fucking excuse me, Casa fucking nova. I can't see your tiny little flow, should a wore tighter pants.

DD

Eat me.  Holler if you get jumped.

DD walks toward the tree. The girls see him coming, some bolt, some don't. Norm watches for a second, pats his cargo pockets to inventory his beer stash, then follows DD in.

INT. SOMEONE'S HOUSE, NIGHT

MIX

Ooh, I'm out.

Mix is very drunk now, but so manic from the whisky that the full extent isn't readily apparent.  He tosses his empty beer can over his shoulder, it hits a girl in the head. Her boyfriend makes a comment, but Mix doesn't notice.

MIX

I'm going to restock. Would either of you like some?

MOLLY

Sure.

Mix smiles and walks away.

ANDREA

Okay, I'm not so sure anymore.

MOLLY

Andrea! He was your idea, and you know the kind of guys we end up dating when we don't do this.

ANDREA

Not the plan, the plan is good. But I'm not so sure about him.

MOLLY

I kind of like him.  He's entertaining. A bit of a dick, but harmless. Definitely won't be hard to kick out of bed tomorrow.

ANDREA

And he's so drunk he probably won't be able to find his way back.

MOLLY

Bonus. I say we do it.

ANDREA

Oh.

(She thinks about it)

Okay. But let's go now, before I have time to think about it.

They wait for a moment.  Andrea spots a guy across the room.

ANDREA

Ooh, look at him.

MOLLY

He's wearing a visor. Besides, I think-

Mix returns, carrying several beers.

MOLLY

(continuing)

Hi.

MIX

The hunt was successful.

Mix offers a beer to each of them.

MOLLY

Actually, we decided we're going to take you home now.

MIX

Oh.

(pause)

Well.

(waiting for them to start laughing.)

I won't put up a fuss. But since I already have these.

Mix puts the beers in his pockets.

ANDREA

Let's go. You're driving. I want to get started.

MIX

Please be gentle.

ANDREA

Not a chance.

EXT. SOMEONE'S BACK YARD, NIGHT

It's raining heavily now and everyone has left the tree for the covered back patio.  DD is getting along famously with three girls who might be just barely eighteen, but probably aren't.  Particularly EMILY, a pretty girl with her hair in braids.   Norm returns with several beers in his arms, his pockets bulging.

NORM

Here we go, all. Drink up, it does go bad eventually.  Hey, dude.

Norm leans close to DD while handing him a beer.

NORM

I just saw Mix heading out with two chicks.

DD

Did they have badges?

NORM

What?

DD

Badges, cops. I was asking if Mix had been arrested.

DD shakes his head and starts to open his beer, then stops.

DD

Oh, dude.

NORM

Hey, if you'd been funny, I would have gotten it, but-

DD

No, not that. Mix. That could be bad.

NORM

How? How could that possibly bad. Except he didn't get us any pussy?

DD

Well, he, uh, someone said something about Maker's.

NORM

Oh, fuck.

Norm and DD crack beers and toast.

DD

To Sour Mix, dumb ass.

NORM

Help him out, God, he'll need it.

INT. ANDREA'S SUV, NIGHT

Andrea and Mix are topless, she's on top of him in the back.

ANDREA

He passed out!  What the fuck!

MOLLY

Are you shitting me?

Molly takes a quick look back from the driver's seat.

ANDREA

He tasted pretty boozy, but Jesus. No one's ever passed out on me before.

MOLLY

He does smell like really good pot.

ANDREA

Maybe he took something else, too.

Andrea slips back into her shirt and wriggles into the front seat.

MOLLY

Should we dump him?

ANDREA

Well, he was pretty good while he was awake.

MOLLY

Guess we could break into what's left of that eight ball we got from Jackie to wake him up. It's not like we have many other options.

Andrea rubs Molly's neck as she drives.

ANDREA

I know how you feel. We should think about those IDs Dmitri said he could get us.

Mix moans in the back seat. Andrea and Molly giggle at him.  Then Mix sits up and pulls the emergency break. The SUV screeches and Molly loses control on the rainy streets. The SUV spins through a 180 then comes to a halt, rocking side to side heavily. A few other cars honk as they swerve around the backward facing SUV. 

Andrea and Molly are in shock for a second, then they hear Mix chuckling in the back seat. They look at each other for a beat.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT, CONTINUOUS

MOLLY (O.S.)

Stupid motherfucker!

ANDREA (O.S.)

Asshole almost killed us!

Molly and Andrea leap out of the SUV, open the rear doors and crawl in, still screaming and cursing at Mix. Andrea comes out of the SUV, dragging a sluggish Mix by his neck. Molly is pushing him from the other side. He falls into the street and takes a kick to the chest from Andrea. Molly drops his stuff on him, then gets back into the driver's seat.  When Andrea is in the front passenger seat the SUV backs into a nearby driveway, then drives away.

Mix is woken by the rain, quickly realizing he's laying in the street against the curb half naked.  He gets his stuff and stumbles to the sidewalk before vomiting.  He dresses, then sits on the curb, pulling his hood up to keep the rain off.  He pulls a beer from a pocket and cracks it, letting the foam splash out away from him.

MIX

What a couple of bitches.

He chugs half the beer, pukes again a little bit and finishes it.

MIX

Probably just cock teases. Planned this the whole night.

He finds some cigarettes and lights one, then calls Norm.

Norm and DD have left the party and are walking down their own rainy street.

NORM

Finished already?

DD

I knew he couldn't keep it up. Never can with me.

MIX

Ah, I just felt like bailing. They were almost out of beer.

Norm makes a disbelieving face. He and DD are overloaded with stolen beers, each is double fisting cans.

NORM

Yeah, sure.  We're headed back to your place.

MIX

Cool, I'll meet you there.

NORM

Yeah. Out.

Norm ends the call and puts his phone away.

DD

What did he say?

NORM

Nothing, really.  Didn't say anything about the hootchies.

DD

Huh. Weird. They ditch him?

NORM

Probably. It was too good to be true.

DD

Yeah, no shit.

They walk and drink for a few moments.

DD

I got a phone number. That brunette with the braids.

NORM

No way that chick's legal.

DD

What?

NORM

Did you see that crowd? Maybe half of them were still in school.

DD

(with a sigh)

Way too good to be true.

DD chucks an empty beer can into a patch of trees on the roadside and they continue walking in silence.

INT. MIX'S BEDROOM, DAY

Mix is laying on his bed. He's still dressed and the hangover is in full effect.

MIX

I crave the sweet release of death!

DD is rifling through Mix's coat. He's watching Mix, but Mix has his arm thrown across his eyes and a mind for nothing beyond his pain.

DD comes up with Mix's cell and sneaks out of Mix's bedroom.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY, CONTINUOUS

DD enters a phone number into Mix's cell from a scrap of paper. DD listens to it ringing.

DD

Oh, fuck. I knew I should have had a drink first.

TARA

Hello?

DD

Hi, is Emily there?

TARA

(pause)

Is this DD?

DD hesitates.

DD

Yes.

TARA

My sister's only sixtee-.

DD

Damn! I knew it was too good to be true.

Tara has aborted her tirade, listening to DD.

DD

Look, I wasn't sure. I thought she was, y'know, old enough. Since it was a party, oh, never mind. You're going to yell at me now, right?

TARA

I was. But, you really thought she was older?

DD

Yeah. Well, I guess I more hoped she was.

(pause)

Did she tell you about me?

TARA

Yeah.

DD

So she could get you to blow me off, right?

TARA

No, it's not like that. She was glad to meet you, she just didn't realize you were older at first.

DD

Okay.  Well, thanks for not yelling at me, I won't call your sister again.

DD ends the call and draws back to throw the phone before remembering it's Mix's.  A toilet FLUSHES.  DD flops onto a couch.  Norm exits the bathroom.

NORM

Shitty, dude.

DD

Par for the course.

NORM

Yeah. Talk to her sister?

DD

Yeah. Nice enough not to chew me out, or call the cops.

NORM

Shoulda called the cops, if there ever was a sexual predator it's you.

DD

Yeah, suburbanite moms hate me.

NORM

And they are right to do so.

Norm walks to the TV and starts fiddling with the Playstation.

NORM

You gonna sneak Mix's phone back?

DD

Oh. Yeah.

DD goes into Mix's bedroom. Norm loads a game and sits on the couch. He picks up a controller.  DD enters, looks at the game and enters the kitchen.

DD

It's all about makin' that GTA.

NORM

I'm going to get this motherfucker to the hospital.

DD

It's so cute you do missions.  I just kill hookers and old ladies.

NORM

I like hookers and old ladies.

INT. MIX & DD'S KITCHEN, DAY, CONTINUOUS

DD gets a glass and two packages of Alka Seltzer. He watches Norm play while waiting for the fizzing to stop.  Norm is driving an ambulance maniacally while being shot at from both sides of the street.  He occasionally returns fire out the window.

DD

I wonder if Mix puked last night.

NORM

He had some on his pants.

DD

Okay, he should be good to go in an hour or so then.

NORM

Fuck, do we have to work today?

DD

Yeah, dinner.

More game watching.  Norm's ambulance is starting to burn. Just after his character takes a diving roll out of the vehicle, Mix appears.

MIX

Morning bowl.

DD

Drink this.

MIX

Morning. Bowl.

DD

I'll load one, just drink this.

Mix takes the glass of Alka Seltzer from DD.

NORM

I say we dose Madison with something.

DD

What would we dose her with? I don't want to give up something good for comedy.

They watch the game.  Lots of gunfire and explosions.

DD

Or do you think you can get her fucked up enough to blow us all?

NORM

Shit, you fucked her.

DD

That was luck. She was already wasted.  I didn't give her anything.

MIX

Wasn't that Sara?

DD

No, Madison.

MIX

I thought she had the-

NORM

Fuck!

Norm's ambulance has blown up again.

MIX

(continuing)

The streaky hair.

DD

She did, she dyed it black again.

MIX

Oh.  Where's that morning bowl?

DD

Oh, yeah, sorry.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DINING ROOM, NIGHT

There are only a few tables occupied. Norm is sitting with an elderly couple, Mix is wearing an iPod at a table, playing a handheld game console.  Both have drinks.  Sara is on a cell phone in one corner. Nicole delivers something to the table Norm's at.  She starts back toward the kitchen and stops suddenly as passes Mix's table.  She listens for a second, then steps in front of him.  He finally looks up from his game.

MIX

What?

NICOLE

Is that Iron and Wine?

MIX

Yeah.

NICOLE

Oh my God, I love Iron and Wine.

Nicole sits.

MIX

Really?

NICOLE

Yeah.  I thought you were into, like, Slipknot, and Slayer.

mix

I am.

SARA

Really?

(into cell)

I'll call you back.

Sara sits at the table.

SARA

You like Slipknot and Iron and Wine?

MIX

You're a fan?

SARA

Not of Slipknot.

MIX

Really?  You look just like the mosh pit type.

SARA

Yeah, right.

A bell DINGS from the kitchen.

MADISON

Oh, damn.

She leaves.

SARA

So what are you listening to?

MADISON (O.S.)

NORM!

Norm gets up from his table and heads for the kitchen.  Before he arrives DD comes out of the back dressed for the street.

DD

I'm cutting myself. And I figured out the liquor storage combination, ask me tomorrow.

DD leaves.

NORM & MIX

What the fuck?

INT. MATADOR, NIGHT

DD is half-cocked sitting in a dive bar with GEORGE and THOM, some of his secondary buddies. A third one, MAX is in the back on a pool table.

GEORGE

No, I'm fuckin' tellin' ya, no way the Defiant could take out the Enterprise.

THOM

With the pulse phasers and quantum torpedoes?

GEORGE

The E has quantum tor-

DD

Really! You're getting geek in my beer! Plus, this conversation is an enormously effective pussy deterrent.

THOM

Ladies man that you are.

DD

And the last time you got laid was?

THOM

I'm married.

DD

Exactly my point! Why buy the cow when roofies are so cheap?

GEORGE

What?

THOM

That makes no sense whatsoever.

MAX

Settle up, girls. Potty has some Red Rock.

INT. MIX'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

Mix is fast asleep when DD bursts into his room.

DD

Dude! Dude!

MIX

Augh! What the fuck?

DD collapses on the edge of the bed.

DD

I found it. I found it.

MIX

(sniffs)

Is that opium? Why didn't you call me?

DD

Don't have a cell. Dude, I found us a house.

MIX

We want a house?

DD

It's, like, abandoned, and shit. It's perfect.

MIX

Uh huh. Go to bed. Wake me up again I'll rape you to death.

DD

Dude, c'mon, we gotta pack!

Mix lays down, covers himself again.

MIX

If you're still here, or making any noise, in a minute, I'm getting the stun gun.

DD

No no no! I found it! It's there!

DD paws at Mix's covers.

DD

(continuing)

I'll show you, get up.

MIX

Stun gun, I fucking swear.

Mix pushes DD with his foot. DD collapses onto the floor.

MIX

Opium, motherfucker scores opium and doesn't even try to call me. I might stun gun you anyway.

Mix settles into sleep, DD mutters quietly until he passes out.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

Mix and DD are eating French toast, watching a cartoon lesbian porn video. Mix laughs occasionally.

DD

I saw it.

MIX

Uh huh.

DD

A house. The lights were on, door wide open.

MIX

Uh huh.  You said this has tentacles, I've never actually seen tentacle hentai.

DD

Not in a lesbian scene. I fucking saw it!

MIX

Fine, you saw it.  Where is it?

DD

I can't remember! I told you we should have gone.

MIX

It was four in the morning. How the fuck were we gonna get to somewhere you don't remember at four in the morning?

DD

I remembered then.

MIX

Eat your French toast. And skip to the tentacle scene, this shit is ridiculous.  Dudes jerk off to this shit?

DD

Fifth Amendment says I don't have to answer that.

INT. PADDY'S, DAY

Mix and DD are sitting at a long bar with beers in front of them. Mix is looking over a newspaper.  Bartender COREY is reading a trade magazine not far away.

DD

No science fiction.

MIX

Norm'll have something to say about that.

DD

Only until I start fucking his face.

NORM

You're the one with bee jay debts.  Mirror Pond, Corey.  Thanks.  Why the fuck are we inside?

DD

It's a little cold out there.

NORM

Pussy.  C'mon, my lungs are feeling too pink.  We'll be outside, Corey.

EXT. PADDY'S, DAY

They're sitting around a sidewalk table. Norm lights a cigarette.

NORM

See, now that's much better.

MIX

Okay, since we're all assembled, I think Brian is a mite pissed at us.

DD

We didn't start any fights. Or break anything.

MIX

Shockingly enough, some people have a tighter standard for party fouls.

NORM

Fucking suburbanites, why do we bother going to suburbanite parties?

MIX

That party was well inside city limits, and because suburbanite chicks are attracted to reckless city guys like ourselves.

NORM

Some of them are. For a few minutes.

DD laughs, Mix frowns at them.

MIX

Huh?

Norm and DD laugh, realizing Mix completely blacked out the Andrea and Molly experience.

NORM

Never mind.  Brian's pissed?

MIX

He'll get over it. I think if the host had got some of our weed it would have been okay.  And I guess I hit some chick with a beer can and her boyfriend is pissy about it.

DD

It happens.  Y'know, I don't wanna see a movie any more.

DD tosses the paper onto the table and drains his beer.  Norm and Mix glance at each other.

NORM

You go to underage parties, you meet underage girls.

DD

I know. It's just that we hit it off so good. And did you see her? She was so hot. Man, I haven't fucked a chick with nice tits in years.

NORM

She did have some nice titties.

MIX

Coulda been the bra, there's some incredible engineering out there.

NORM

No, man. She was wearing this little lacy thing and her sweater was so low cut you could, oh.

DD

Yeah, I noticed.

MIX

Hey, Nancy!

NORM

Sorry, man.

Waitress NANCY walks up.

NANCY

What's up?

MIX

Girl problems.

NANCY

Jagers?

NORM

You are a goddess. Why won't you come work for Uncle Chuck?

NANCY

Because you guys are probably terrible bussers. Three Jagers coming up.

DD

Way too good for the Chuck.  Besides he has a thing for preppy girls.

MIX

Yeah, Nancy's a bit too outdoorsy for him.

NORM

Can you imagine Madison or Sara hiking?

DD

Speaking of the wilds.

MIX

Oh, shit.

DD

I found an abandoned house last night, that still had power.

NORM

Really?

MIX

Except he can't remember where it was, or anything about it.

DD

I was hanging out at the Matador and Max said he knew a guy with a bunch of opium.

NORM

Did you buy any?

DD

Uh. No.

NORM

For shame.

NANCY

What have you three been up to?

NORM

Attempted debauchery, public drunkenness.

NANCY

Any new embarrassing stories?

NORM

Nothing too interesting. DD hit on an underage chick last night.

NANCY

Dee!

DD moves to defend himself, but Norm cuts him off.

NORM

She looked older.  I swear. With beer goggles, totally looked eighteen.

NANCY

Yeah, right.

MIX

They develop so fast these days.  I swear when I was in high school they didn't look like they do now.

NANCY

Oh, no.

Nancy walks away in moderate disgust.

NORM

That's my line.

MIX

I know.

The trio carefully picks up their shot glasses.

ALL

Self loathing.

They take the extra large shots and grimace to varying degrees.

MIX

What the fuck is wrong with German people?

DD

I love that stuff.

NORM

And it loves you.

MIX

Yeah, sometimes love makes you puke, too.

DD

True.  True.

EXT. NORM'S APARTMENT, NIGHT

They're passing around controllers for an X-Box 360, playing a fighting game. Norm and DD are playing, Mix is watching with a bong in his hand. Mix's cell phone rings.

MIX

Hello?

TARA

Um, is DD there?

MIX

Uh. Yeah. Hold on.

Mix presses the phone against the seat cushion.

MIX

DD, there's a chick on my phone asking for you?

NORM

Is she calling from a daycare center?

DD

Fuck you. For me?

MIX

Asked for DD.  Did you call your Lolita from my phone?

DD pauses the game.

DD

Shit! Yeah. Her sister's going to kill me.

Mix hands his cell to DD.

DD

Hello?

TARA

Um, hi.

DD is stricken. He goes onto Norm's balcony. Tara is a little tipsy and there's a lot of BACKGROUND NOISE.

DD

Hi.

TARA

I'm Tara. You, uh, called-

DD

Yeah, I remember. Uh, what's up?

TARA

I just wanted to. Well, you seemed so nice about, you know. I just. Wanted to. Call you.

DD

Oh.

DD smacks himself, incensed that he couldn't think of a better response.

DD

Are you eighteen?

Tara laughs, DD almost collapses with relief.

TARA

I'm twenty four, actually.

DD

Okay, that's good to hear. But it's a better defense if I meet you in a bar.

Tara laughs again.

TARA

Fortuitously, I'm in a bar.

DD

Which one?

TARA

Night Light.

DD is jubilant.

DD

Equally fortuitous, I'm at a friend's place not far away from Night Light.

TARA

Oh, really?  Well.

DD

I'll be on my way. Uh, how will I recognize you?

TARA

Well, I look a lot like my sister, I'm in a black leather jacket, and I'm sitting under a painting of a naked woman with an umbrella.

DD

I'm, like, ten minutes out. I'll see you soon.

TARA

Okay.

DD

Okay. Uh, be right there.

DD ends the call and heads inside again.  He tosses Mix's cell to him.

MIX

Are you going to need a lawyer?

DD

Money, I need money. That was the sister.

Mix and Norm gape.

NORM

No shit?

DD starts to empty his pockets onto the coffee table.

DD

No shit. How much do I have how much do I have?

Mix starts rifling through his own pockets and Norm leaps up, entering his bedroom. He comes back a moment later with a Mason jar stuffed with bills.

DD

Dude, that's your 'shroom money.

NORM

Take it, you're good for it.  Go. Why are you still fucking here?

DD grabs a fistful of bills and stuffs them into his pocket. He puts on his jacket as he leaves.

EXT. NIGHT LIGHT, NIGHT

DD stops jogging outside the bar.  He tries to catch his breath, coughing at the cold air in his lungs.

DD

Okay, slow it down. Don't want to look too eager. Ow.

DD rubs his side.

DD

I hope she's not fat.

INT. NIGHT LIGHT, NIGHT

DD enters the bar, still somewhat out of breath. His eyes catch the painting and look under it. A slim woman in a classy leather jacket with a remarkable resemblance to Emily is sitting under it, looking at something on the table. DD makes a subdued fist pump in victory. He walks to the table. Tara looks up from a menu when he's mostly there. She smiles.

TARA

DD?

DD

Tara?

TARA

Wow, Emily was right, you are a hottie.

DD

For all the charms your family has, clearly there's insanity.

Tara laughs. DD sits down.

DD

So.

TARA

Yeah.

DD

Yeah.

Pause.

DD

Okay, basic biographical information in thirty seconds. You go first.

TARA

Me? Why do I have to go first?

DD

Because I ran here and I can barely breathe.

Tara melts a little.

TARA

You ran?

DD didn't mean to reveal that.

DD

Ah, I didn't want you to come to your senses.

Tara laughs.

TARA

Okay, I'll go first. Thirty seconds?

DD

Give or take a few minutes.

TARA

Okay. Um.  You know my name, and that I'm twenty four, sooo.

DD

Faster.

TARA

Jeez, okay. Uh, born in upstate New York, moved here with my family when I was seven, I don't remember much about back East. Um, college graduate, work downtown, nuclear family, um, mom, dad, sister, who you've met.

DD cringes for show, Tara laughs.

TARA

(continuing)

And a brother who's in the Army.  Taurus, um, Democrat, uh.

DD

Long walks on the beach, horse rides and a roaring fire.

Tara laughs.

TARA

Yes, all of that. Your turn.

DD

Twenty three, born on the coast, moved here when I was twelve because the coast fucking sucks. Bit of a potty mouth, not a member of a political party, I like video games, Irish whiskey, blended or single malt, I work in a restaurant, I have bad luck with cell phones and ooh my beer's here. Thanks, man.

TARA

Cheater!

DD

What are you drinking there?

TARA

Um.

WAITER

Irish coffee?

Tara blushes.

DD

It's fate.  I'll get her another.

DD hands the waiter money.

TARA

No, you don't have to do that.

DD

You can get the next round if it'll satisfy your wimmin's libber conscience.

TARA

I'm hardly one of those. I was in a sorority.

DD

No women's studies?

TARA

God, no.

DD

I love women's studies.

TARA

And before you turn that into something dirty, what do you do in your restaurant?

DD

You're quick.  I'm a busser and a runner. But not literally.  Well, I do ride the bus, but I generally avoid running.  Speaking of which, do you mind if I smoke?

TARA

I wouldn't be here if smoke bothered me.

DD

Cool.

DD gets and lights a cigarette.  He offers the pack to Tara, who waves it off.

DD

What do you do downtown?

TARA

Really complicated and yet utterly boring stuff. I don't even want to get into it.

DD

Fair enough. I did some office time.  Mail room.

TARA

Fun.

DD

No. Not a bit. It was excruciating.  I begged for my job at the restaurant back.

TARA

Aw, poor you.

DD

It was awful. I was scarred.

DD makes a sad face, Tara laughs.

DD

But I'm much better now.

TARA

I'm glad to hear that.

DD

Me, too.  The constant weeping got on everyone's nerves.

TARA

That would get pretty old.

Pause.

TARA

But my day job isn't nearly that bad.

DD

Good, good to hear. You're right downtown?

TARA

Yeah, kind of south, not as far as the college, though.

DD

Was that your school?

TARA

No, I went to Illinois.

DD

How did you end up there?

TARA

It was the school farthest way from home that accepted me.  That my mom wouldn't freak out about, anyway.

DD

No big city schools for you?

TARA

No way. Mom hated that I was going away at all, but I needed to.

DD

But you came back.

TARA

I did.  I missed the mountains, and the ocean. And I guess I made peace with my family.  Now my sister's going through all of that.

DD

No comment.

TARA

Yes. So, you said your friend lives nearby?

DD

Yeah. I live over by Lloyd Center with another friend.  You?

TARA

Oh, mom and dad still have me at home.

DD

Well, girls can get away with that.

TARA

Yes, we can. Mom again.

DD

Ah, yes.  Mom.

DD finishes his beer.

DD

You're not drinking.

TARA

I've already had a few.  I was here with some girls from work.

DD

Ah, wild girls and foo foo drinks.

TARA

Foo foo drink? This is not a foo foo drink.

DD

Really? Let me have a taste.

Tara hesitates shyly, then pushes her glass over.  DD takes a sip.

DD

Mmm, whisky.  Oh, sorry.

DD puts the glass back.

DD

(continuing)

Not bad.  I'll give you credit for it.

TARA

Oh, you're so kind.

DD

I know, I'm forever being taken advantage of.

TARA

I bet.  Well, I guess I'd better.

Tara finishes her drink.

TARA

I'll get this round.

DD

You don't have to.

TARA

My wimmin's libber pride, remember?

DD

Oh, right. I forgot.

TARA

Male oppressor!

DD

Damn, you caught me!

TARA

I knew it!  You men are all alike.

DD

Jeez, so harsh.

TARA

Oh, I'm sorry.  I don't want to scar you again.

DD

Yes, I'm very fragile.

Tara flags down the waiter.

TARA

I bet you are.

INT. NORM'S APARTMENT, NIGHT

Mix and Norm are watching a movie. Mix's phone rings again.  Mix looks at the screen.

MIX

Fuck.

(presses a button)

What, Sandra?

SANDRA

Can you fill in next week?

MIX

Now why would I want to do that?

SANDRA

Because I need your help, and the kids love you.

MIX

But I hate them.

SANDRA

You do not hate kids. When are you going to quit pretending to be such a badass?

MIX

I have to work next week.

SANDRA

Oh, whatever.  You can always get off work there.  Please?

MIX

Fuck.

SANDRA

I need you to cover afternoons. One of my people has some court appearances.

MIX

Ha!  If the parents only knew.

SANDRA

She's a witness in a civil matter.

MIX

Yeah, right.

SANDRA

I'll see you Wednesday.

MIX

I hate you.

Mix ends the call.

NORM

Kiddies?

MIX

Kiddies.

(pause)

This is your fucking fault, bitch!

NORM

My fault?

MIX

Yeah, you said "daycare center" earlier!

NORM

Oh, fuck you!

MIX

Whatever.

A beat of silent gaming.

MIX

I'm not answering my phone any more tonight.

INT. NIGHT LIGHT, NIGHT

A loud group has moved in and DD and Tara are sitting on adjacent sides of the table, leaning close to each other.

DD

Time for another round.

TARA

No no, I have to drive.

DD

There are other options.

Googly eyed moment.

DD

I meant those guys who come on scooters and drive you home.  Of course.

TARA

I've used them before. And that's disappointing if that's all you were thinking of.

DD

Well, you have a day job and all.

More googly eyes.

TARA

Yes. That's a good excuse. And, well, there's enough potential drama already. I, I'll call you, though.

DD

Actually I called you from a friend's cell, so I should probably call you. I swear I will.

The moment is too heavy.

DD

And speaking of drama, I bet your sister can be taught a mean right hook, for when we go on Jerry.

Tara laughs, a bit embarrassed.

TARA

Oh, she'll be so pissed.  But. It's worth it. So far.

Tara stands before DD can respond. DD stands with her.

DD

The number you called from, that's you?

TARA

My cell.

DD

I'll call you.

TARA

Okay.

DD

I will.

TARA

(smiles)

I said okay.  Bye.

Tara leaves.

DD

Holy shit, did that just happen?

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S STORE ROOM, DAY

The trio are drinking PBRs. Mix is messing with the bong.

NORM

So ya didn't go for the quick fuck. Probably wise.

DD

Dude, I'm still tripping on it. Baby girl's sister calls me.

MIX

It's not enough for Jerry. You'll have to hook up with the mom, too.

Norm hoists his PBR.

NORM

Drinking Dog's on a roll, baby, he'll fuck every ho in that house. 
Can I have the sister? I'll take the risk of jail.

Someone POUNDS on the door.

SARA (O.S.)

We do have customers out here!

MIX

I can't get this carb clean.

DD

We have time for some hot pipe action, that's only the third time she's knocked.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DINING ROOM, DAY

Norm and Mix are bussing tables.

MIX

Oh, fuck. Pretty boys.

NORM

Damn, I just pissed.

A party of five enters, all stylish muscular spiky haired guys. The waitresses dash to the front to greet them.

MIX

If the streaked one starts playing with his Palm, I'm gonna put shit in his food.

NORM

Good luck getting a chance.

MIX

No shit.

DD walks up.

DD

Pretty boys.

MIX

Yeah.  Does Boyce owe us a favor?

DD

No. Besides, he wouldn't even try. Nicole has him pretty well in hand. Or in pussy, one should say.

NORM

Even with the pretty boys around?

MIX

Boyce does have that accent he can bust out.

NORM

No way I'm bussing their table, the bitches can get it. I feel the need for a drink.

Norm and Mix walk away, leaving their tables half cleared. DD follows them after a moment.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

Norm, DD and Mix are walking down the alley behind Uncle Chuck's, eating one of their snatched dinners.  DD finishes first, skipping his plate like a stone into the street.

DD

Can I borrow your phone, man?

MIX

Tickle my balls on the way in.

DD reaches into Mix's front pocket, his hand lingering a little longer than strictly necessary to grab a cell phone.

NORM

Calling your babysitter?

DD

Max.

MIX

Oh, fuck.  Gimme my phone back.

DD

It's real, I'm telling you.

MIX

Fine. If it's real, how the hell are you going to be able to find it? Didn't you tell us you were driving around in Max's van smoking the opium?

NORM

And have no idea where you got out?

DD

I'll figure it out.

DD dials a number.

INT. MAX'S APARTMENT, NIGHT

Max's studio apartment is a well-lived in music lover's space.  The trio, Max and Thom are passing a bong and drinking from a case of Coors.

MAX

Fuck, man, I got no idea where we were.  Somewhere, like, um.

THOM

It was on the west side.

MAX

Right.

THOM

In the hills?

MAX

Could be.

DD

Yeah, that sounds right.

MIX

The west hills?

NORM

A field in the west hills?  Like Skyline?

MAX

Not that far up. Like, around the Vista bridge.

Mix laughs harshly.

MIX

An abandoned house. In the middle of the field. Near the Vista bridge.

NORM

You guys were in a van smoking opium in the West Hills??

THOM

Not one of our brightest moments.

NORM

No shit.

DD

I don't remember being that way, I thought we were deeper than that, the other side of the hills.

THOM

We were around there, too.  Potty was crashing at a pad in Sylvan, then we headed back to my place.  You got out before then, though.

DD

I walked home.  I remember that.

MIX

So an abandoned house somewhere between the Vista bridge and Lloyd Center.  Sure. That could happen.

NORM

And Snoop Dogg's coming by with some hoes for us.  Pass the bong.

DD hands the bong to Norm.

DD

That's doable.

MIX

Do whatable?

DD

Searchable.

MIX

Fuck that!

NORM

Dude.

MIX

I'm not chasing that goose, it's wild.

DD

Fuck you! I saw this shit, I'm telling you!

MIX

I've seen a lot of interesting shit when I'm fucked up and none of it turned out to be real.

DD

Have you ever hallucinated a house? I went inside it!

THOM

Ay yi yi, the girls are so testy.

NORM

Dudes, more pot, less anger. 

MAX

Definitely that time of the month.

DD

Fine. Fuck you all, I'll find it myself and I'll, I'll, charge fucking admission! Bastards.

EXT. DOWNTOWN, NIGHT

The trio are walking unsteadily away from a light rail platform.

NORM

What the fuck, I'll help you look.

DD gets a little too emotional over this.

DD

Thanks, man.  Thanks.

MIX

Aw, now hold hands.

DD

Fuck you.

MIX

Wouldn't want you to cheat on Norm.  Where are we going, Yamhill?

DD

Not broke enough.

MIX

Rialto?

NORM

Too far.

The trio are standing in front of the door to Paddy's.

INT. PADDY'S, NIGHT

They walk into the bar, which is somewhat more crowded than it was earlier.

MIX

Paddy's it is, then.

DD

I want a lemon drop, since I'm so fruity and all.  Honey?

NORM

I feel like a Cosmo.

They prance toward the bar.

MIX

(yells)

You'll come running back to me you whore, you always do!

They order drinks from the bartender ERIC, looking around the bar while they're waiting for them.  DD spies a hottie entering the hallway the bar empties into while Norm is taking his first drink.

DD

Whoa. That was a tasty slice.

MIX

What, where?

Mix sees her as she disappears into the ladies' room.

MIX

That was nice.

NORM

Fuck, I missed it.

MIX

She'll be out in a few hours.

Their first drinks go down quickly.

MIX

There she is.

Norm grips the wooden lip on the bar tightly and leans back into the aisle behind the bar to get a look at the woman as she walks up and out of the hallway.  He leans forward again when he's satisfied.

NORM

Very tasty.

DD

Subtle, dude.

NORM

Y'know, I've never gotten very far with subtlety.

MIX

Have you ever been subtle?

NORM

Probably not.  But watch.

(shouts)

Another round, Eric!

At the other end of the bar, the bartender waves in acknowledgment.

NORM

See, the direct route.

DD

And Eric just might get us drinks in less than an hour.

NORM

I don't think he was talking about sports, so we should be okay.

Fast forward, two more rounds of drinks.

DD

Hey, Eric, who's cooking?

ERIC

Ahhh, Jorge.

NORM

Awesome!

DD

I asked, I go first.

DD leaves to smoke pot in the kitchen.

NORM

Cock smoker.  Well, since he's gone.  Hey, Eric, two Goldschlagers.

MIX

Two? Why the fuck did you order two?

Eric puts two shots in front of Norm and Mix.

MIX

Why do you hate me so much?

NORM

If I hated you I'd have ordered Old Grandad 101.

MIX

I love you too, man.

They drink the shots.  DD returns a moment after, he's coughing.

DD

And now it's time to party.  I need an AMF.

MIX

This won't end well, I can already feel it coming.

DD

Eric, do you have any of those big straws like McDonald's?

INT. PADDY'S, NIGHT

The bar is quite a bit emptier.  The trio, along with several Paddy's waitresses now off shift, AMBER, STACY and ANGIE are sitting in or standing around a booth.  DD is asleep leaning against a window.

NORM

(almost yelling, to Stacy)

No no no! Val Kilmer was born to play Doc Holliday! There's no fucking way Dennis Quaid was better at it.  You're delusional for saying anything of the sort.

ANGIE

(to Mix and Amber)

Their new album just isn't up to what their old stuff was.

MIX

Nonsense.

AMBER

I'm with Mix on this one. It's just as good as Recovering the Satellites.

MIX

I think it's a little better than that, but Desert Life is my favorite.

STACY

Val plays a better drunk than Dennis, I'll give you that-

NORM

The Quaids are just too fucking nice to play Holliday.  Val Kilmer is just the right amount of asshole to pull it off.

DD suddenly sits upright.

DD

Oh, shit.

NORM & MIX

Better move.

Stacy and Amber shuffle out of the booth, DD almost knocks them over running out of the bar.

ANGIE

What was that about?

MIX

Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

AMBER

Is he going to be alright?

MIX

He's tough, he'll be fine.

NORM

Speaking of drunks, we need another round. Our turn, I think.

Norm digs money from a pocket and holds out his hand to Mix.

NORM

Chip in, bitch.

Mix gives some money to Norm. Norm leaves the booth for the bar, returning shortly with a tray full of pint and shot glasses.

MIX

And Nancy doubts your skills.  Look at you, all you need is a short skirt and black sneakers and you'll be a shoo in for a truck stop somewhere.

NORM

Eat me.  Move your arms.

Norm gently sets the tray down and everyone reaches for glasses.  DD reenters, very zombie like.

DD

Ugh.

Stacy and Amber get up to let him back in.  DD puts his face back on the smudge he'd left on the glass and passes out again.

MIX

Poor bastard.  Let's do these.

Everyone except DD clinks shot glasses and downs them.  Winces and a few moans follow.

STACY

I think it was a lot better than Tombstone.

MIX

Amy Hit the Atmosphere and Mrs Potter's Lullaby.

Norm lights a cigarette.

NORM

And you're drunk. Smoke?

STACY

Thanks.  Are you sure you've seen Wyatt Earp?

AMBER

Angel of the Silences and Daylight Fading?

NORM

Not really, but I know that Denn-

ANGIE

Other than Angel of the Silences, there's not much to Recovering. I don't think Daylight Fading is really a great song.

STACY

You've never even seen it?

Norm lights Stacy's cigarette.

DD

Hey, let me out.

MIX

Again?

Stacy and Amber get up so DD can shuffle out of the bar again.

NORM

Hi Mr Liquor Inspector.

STACY

That's not even funny.

DD enters the bar jubilant.

DD

Dude, you can't even tell that I puked out there.

Norm and Mix just shake their heads, the girls are shocked to various degrees.

DD

Come on, look!

DD grabs Amber by the arm and takes her outside.

ANGIE

Oh my God.

STACY

You guys sure know how to party.

MIX

Wild On's going to do a whole special on me.

DD and Amber enter.

DD

Tell 'em.  Tell 'em!

AMBER

You couldn't see it.

DD

I'm the man.

MIX

Yeah, the man.  Go back to sleep.

DD

Good idea.

DD returns to his spot.

STACY

That must have been, interesting.

AMBER

I've seen worse.  I've been doing this a long time.

NORM

Did he crawl under a car?

AMBER

Oh, he's done that before?

MIX

DD is a genius at stealth puking.

STACY

Okay, I've had enough.

MIX

C'mon it's only, shit, it's one.  We better roll, dude.

Norm chugs his beer.

NORM

Yeah. But I gotta go to my place.

MIX

You're gonna ditch me with princess here?

NORM

I gotta go home. You're way bigger than he is, you can get him back. Don't you, wait.

Norm feels in his pockets, comes out with a small brown glass vial.

NORM

(continuing)

There you go.

ANGIE

You're not seriously handling drugs in the bar, are you?

MIX

No, these are smelling salts.  Fuck you for ditching me, thanks for these.

NORM

I'm out.  See y'all.

Everyone ad libs farewells.

Mix crawls into the booth and waves the vial under DD's nose.  DD leaps up and starts to struggle.

DD

Oh, fuck, man. Do you have to do that?

MIX

C'mon, let's go.

DD

Fine. Fine.  Do we have a tab?

MIX

No, we're square. Move yo bitch ass, daddy's hungry.

Mix picks up DD's backpack and tosses it to him.

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

Goodtots is an attentive book-learned parent's wet dream, with clearly marked play areas obsessively vetted for safety and educational content. Mix walks in still exhaling smoke.  The receptionist glares at him.

MIX

Sandra in the back?

RECEPTIONIST

Yes, you need a badge!

Mix doesn't bother.

MIX

Whatever.

There are thirty or so kids in attendance, a dozen or so are 6-7.  One looks up and sees Mix.

KID

Mix!

The kids cheer and all of the boys and most of the girls run to Mix.

MIX

Kids!

Mix spends a few minutes tapping fists and slapping palms with his admirers.  Sandra comes out of the back room and watches Mix hold court with a smile.

MIX

Alright, go do something, kids.

The kids happily scatter.

SANDRA

Thanks for coming in -

Mix cuts her off with a glare as her lips start to form a consonant that's not M.

SANDRA

Oh, do I still have to call you that ridiculous nickname?

MIX

Even Mom calls me Mix now.

SANDRA

Well I think our parents gave you a perfectly, fine, fine.  Whatever.  Mix.  Thanks for coming in.

MIX

You're paying me in cash, right?

SANDRA

Give me your coat, pick up your badge and go be nurturing. And I don't want to see you teaching anyone poker.

Mix tosses Sandra his coat and backpack.

MIX

They already know how.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, DAY

DD is sitting on the counter. Uncle Chuck is standing facing them.  Madison is not far away, pretending to make coffee.

UNCLE CHUCK

Well, have you called her yet?

DD

No, not yet.

UNCLE CHUCK

Why the hell not? Is she hot?

DD

Yeah, she's pretty hot.

UNCLE CHUCK

Is she nice?

DD

Seems so.

UNCLE CHUCK

And you haven't called yet?  Call her now.

DD

I will.

UNCLE CHUCK

Now, jack ass.  Use my office phone.

(pauses)

Go!

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S OFFICE, DAY

The office is virtually empty and somewhat dusty. DD sits in a cheap office chair behind a cheap desk. He dials a number from a piece of paper.

DD

Why do I do this sober?

TARA

(whispering)

Hello?

DD

Hi.

TARA

(whispering)

Oh, hi!  I'm at work, can I call you back?

DD

Well, I'm at work, too.  Uh, sure, yeah, call me back.  I'm off at six.

TARA

(whispering)

Okay, bye.

DD

Bye.

DD slams the phone down.

DD

Anti fucking climactic!

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

The after school crowd is arriving.  Mix is sitting with a boy and a girl plying paper and crayons.  But Mix is teaching them how to tag.

MIX

No, that one's taken.

BOY

Damn. I liked that one.

MIX

It's pretty good.  That's why it's taken.

TERRELL

MIX!

A new arrival races up to Mix, his arms held behind him like an airplane.

TERRELL

I'm gonna be a fighter pilot!

Terrell zooms around the table, making jet noises, then "flies" away.

MIX

Isn't he diabetic?

GIRL

Yes.  How's this?

Mix looks at the girl's tag.

MIX

That's pretty good.  You might want to try a lighter blue on the top.

GIRL

You think?

MIX

Yeah.  It's good, but a lighter blue would make the crimson pop more.  Start trying to do it faster. Speed is crucial.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DINING ROOM, NIGHT

DD is clearing a table. Nicole answers the phone.

NICOLE

Uncle Chuck's Barbecue.  Who?  Really?  Are you sure?  Well, okay. DD!

DD puts a few dishes back down and walks to the hostess stand.

NICOLE

There's a phone call for you?

DD takes the phone.

DD

Hello?

TARA

Chuck is a good barbecue name.

DD

Chuck can't cook, actually. The mastermind's name is Boyce.

TARA

Boyce?

DD

Yeah, long story.  I guess, I don't actually know it.  So you're off work?

TARA

Yes, finally. Should I come there? I'm kind of hungry.

DD's eyes swivel to Nicole, who's glaring at him with a mixture of disgust and amazement.

DD

I don't think that would be a good idea. I'm off in half an hour, and I'm in Gateway.

TARA

Okay.

DD

How about dinner, you're hungry, right?

DD cringes at his clumsy delivery.

TARA

That would be great.

DD

Okay. Did you have a place in mind? I'm kind of a Taco Bell guy.

TARA

Ew, disgusting.  I'll think of a place. Somewhere on the rail?

DD

Yeah. I'll call you before I leave.

TARA

Great.

DD

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

TARA

Bye.

DD

Bye.

DD hangs up and turns on Nicole.

DD

What?

NICOLE

Was that a girl?

DD

No, it was my drag queen boyfriend, want to come along? He can teach you how to put make up on with some class.

Nicole makes a noise and walks away.

DD

Bitch.  Shit, how much money do I have? 

(yells)

Yo, Chuck!

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT, NIGHT

DD walks in, there's a hostess stand just inside the door.

DD

Hi, I'm meeting someone here.

MARTA

This way.

Marta leads DD into the dining room, Tara is in a business suit looking over a stack of papers, drinking a glass of wine. She looks up as they approach.

TARA

Thanks, Marta.  Hello again.

DD

Hi. Wow, I'm definitely outclassed.

TARA

You look very rugged.

DD

Yeah, Carhart's hot, baby.

Tara laughs.  DD shucks his coat and backpack and sits. Tara puts the papers into a briefcase next to her chair. DD notices the hostess is hovering.

MARTA

Something to drink?

DD

Oh. Do you have Mac's? Thanks.

MARTA

More wine, Tara?

TARA

No, I'm fine for now. Thanks, Marta.

The hostess leaves.

DD

You know everyone here? Is this a trap?

TARA

Yes, I've got you right where I want you.

DD

I hope this isn't where you really want me.

Tara blushes a little.

TARA

I, uh, I told Emily.

DD

Ouch.

TARA

It wasn't bad, actually. She, I mean she knew that you two weren't happening.  Because I'd have killed you and put her in a convent.

DD

And all that before your parents got involved.

TARA

So, she was a little envious.

DD

Have we given her a reason to be envious yet?

Tara blushes again, but is saved by a waiter arriving with DD's beer.

WAITER

Ready to order?

DD

Oh, I haven't even looked at the menu yet.

DD looks.

DD

And it's not going to help.

(to Tara)

Recommendation?

TARA

Number four. Do you like spicy food?

DD

(game show host voice)

I like all kinds of spicy things.

TARA

Oh, God. Go three stars on that.

DD

Sounds good to me.

He hands the menu back to the waiter. The waiter leaves.

TARA

I already ordered.  But they're waiting.

DD

Very efficient. Goes with the outfit, which, would it be horrible if I asked to get a better look?

TARA

As long as I don't have to strut.

Tara stands and does a slow twirl.

DD

No, but I'd love to see the beauty queen wave.

TARA

Going to have to disappoint you.  Happy?

DD's happy.

DD

Very.  Thanks.  Should I model?

Tara sits again.

TARA

It's a lovely hoodie, but I own one.

DD

But the pants, they're high fashion. I mean, for, y'know, surplus stores.

TARA

I saw them earlier, when I was checking out your ass.

DD

It is fabulous, my ass.

Tara laughs.

TARA

You're just rotten, aren't you?

DD

And this is my best behavior.  If you like rotten, you're in for a treat.

TARA

I bet I am.

DD

I shouldn't be getting your hopes up so quickly.

TARA

I'm very optimistic anyway.

DD

Good. That's good. I need all the help I can get.  Speaking of which, how's that wine?

TARA

Ah, yes.  I'm afraid I have to take it easy on the, um, social lubricant tonight.  The last time we, um.

DD

Yeah.

TARA

Went out doesn't fit, does it? Since, uh.

DD

You drunk dialed me.

TARA

I did not drunk dial!

DD

You didn't?

TARA

Well.  Okay, I did.  At any rate, the next day at work was.

Tara shudders a little.

DD

Ugly?

TARA

It wasn't fun.  So tonight I have to be more careful.

DD

So I shouldn't get a few rounds of Jagers?

Tara looks ill.

TARA

Oh, no.  No Jagermeister.

DD

Bad times?

TARA

The worst.

DD

I'd like to hear about that.

Tara blushes yet again and won't look at DD.

DD

Ooh. Now I really want to hear about it.

TARA

So how was work?

DD

(faking irritation)

Change of subject?

TARA

How long have you worked there?

DD

Fine.  Work.  My job is, unusual.

TARA

You're an unusual busser?

DD

Not that. That's pretty typical I guess.  It's. See. My boss, he's, um.

(whisper)

A drug user.

TARA

In a restaurant?!

DD

Ah, you've worked in the industry!

TARA

During college.

DD

Well, Uncle Chuck's has a devoted following of barbecue aficionado.  Did I say aficionados? Because what I mean are zealots.  So they come no matter what.

TARA

Oh, no!

DD

Yeah, we're not very good.

TARA

That's terrible!

DD

Well.  Yeah.

DD shrugs.  Tara shakes her head again.

DD

From our standpoint, me and my friends, it's the perfect job.  We even, um.  Do you..?

TARA

Smoke pot?

DD

Did someone paint a leaf on my forehead?

TARA

I could smell it on you at Night Light.

DD is genuinely embarrassed.

DD

Ah.  Yeah.  I would have freshened up, but I didn't want to keep you waiting.  And, you know, truth in advertising.

TARA

Well, you're in luck, I do.  Not as much as in college, but yeah.

DD

College.  I'm afraid to think of me at college.  My friend Mix went to Miami for a few years and, well, actually he was the king of parties from the go.

TARA

Is that why he only went a few years?

DD

Um.  No.

TARA

Something tells me I shouldn't ask.

DD

So how was work?

TARA

Right.  Work was the same thing I do every day and a lot of shit that would take a few weeks to catch up on.  Oh, that reminds me. What was up with that bitch who answered the phone?

DD laughs.

DD

That was Nicole.  She's a Midori sour and blowjobs in the back room kind of chick.

TARA

Oh?

DD

Not me. There are a few customers-

TARA

NO!

DD

I think all of the waitresses have done someone in their room.

Tara is aghast.

DD

Chuck isn't what you'd really call an active manager.

TARA

Damn. I can't decide if it's a good or a bad thing that I didn't work in a place like that.

DD

Where did you work?

TARA

I was a chain girl.  I'm embarrassed to say which one.

DD

So you had fun in college?

TARA

Ohh, you don't get to hear those stories yet.  Look, our food's coming.

DD

Hrm.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

Tara has DD pinned against the side of her car (something small, cute and midrange, probably a VW) and they're kissing.

DD

Wow. Your dinner was a lot spicier than mine.

TARA

I thought you liked spicy women?

DD

Oh, that wasn't a complaint.

More kissing.

DD

Why can't all girls be like you? This is so much better than figuring out if trying for the kiss is going to get me a knee.

TARA

And your hands are behaving themselves. Definitely a nice change.

DD

Not that they aren't tempted.

TARA

Thanks.

Tara kisses DD again, then backs away.

TARA

I hate day jobs sometimes.

Tara's look is suddenly intense.

TARA

Will you take your hair down?

DD didn't see that coming.

DD

Sure.

Unbound, DD's hair goes just past his shoulders.  Tara shyly reaches out to touch it.

TARA

It's so soft.

DD

I had to use my sister's shampoo once?

Tara laughs, then abruptly lets go of DD's hair and looks down.  DD doesn't put his hair back up.

TARA

(muttering)

Stupid day jobs.

DD

What are you doing Friday?

TARA

Blowing off after work cocktails with the girls?

DD

I think you are.

DD steps into her and they kiss again.

TARA

Call me at four thirty.

DD

On the dot.

TARA

Okay, I have to get while the getting is, possible.

DD

Okay.

DD opens the door for her.

TARA

Thanks.

She gets in.

DD

Hey, I'm curious about something.

TARA

About what?

DD

When you called me, did you pull the number off caller ID or something?

TARA

Oh.  Emily gave you my cell phone number.  She's not allowed to have one.

DD

Mom?

TARA

Yeah. And if boys call...

DD

I can imagine.  Okay.  Friday.

TARA

Friday.

She smiles and DD closes the door.  She hesitates, then starts the car and drives away.  DD watches her tail lights disappear.

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

Someone's reading a story to the kids.  Mix approaches Sandra, filling out a form on a counter.

MIX

Terrell wants to be a fighter pilot?

SANDRA

Yeah.  Someone from the Navy got to him.

MIX

But he's diabetic.

SANDRA

I know.

MIX

Don't you think that's a problem?

Pause.

SANDRA

I know what you're getting at.  But, he's only six.  He'll want to be a fireman next week.

MIX

So this is a new thing?

Pause.

SANDRA

It's not that big a deal, Mix.

MIX

Have you talked to his parents about it?

Sandra's uncomfortable.

SANDRA

They don't think it's that big a deal, either.

MIX

Great.

Mix walks away.  Sandra takes a moment to return to her paperwork.

INT. NORM'S APARTMENT, DAY

Norm is sitting on his couch, drinking a beer, watching TV.  The door bursts open and DD enters.

NORM

Sure, come on over.

DD

No problem.

DD walks straight into Norm's bathroom.  Norm frowns at the closed door for a second.

NORM

You better not be duke in my fucking bathroom.

DD (O.S.)

Duke is definitely in the house.

NORM

Fuck.  Did you come over here just so you could shit at my place?

DD (O.S.)

Fucking Indian food!

NORM

Bitch!

DD (O.S.)

I gotta go downtown after this.

NORM

You're closer to downtown than I am!

DD leaves the bathroom.

DD

Duke has left the building.  But his entourage is hanging around.

NORM

Jesus fucking Christ, what crawled up your ass and fucking died?

DD

Fucking Indian food.  Look, I'm meeting Tara at her work. Specifically on Friday, because she doesn't have day job the next day.

NORM

Good for you. My bathroom is a Superfund site now.

DD reaches into his pocket.

DD

Here.

Norm takes a baggy of pot from DD.

NORM

Is this that Kush sativa?

DD

The last of it. I've been saving it.

NORM

Okay, forgiven.  Let's do this.

DD

Nah, I'm supposed to call Tara in a few and I don't want to risk spacing.

Norm stares at him.

NORM

You're not smoking, over a chick?

DD

Just this once.

NORM

Whatever.

Norm loads a pipe and hits it.

NORM

I did some looking around for your house.  I've got a few leads.

DD

Really?  Sweet. Oh, shit, can I borrow your phone?

EXT. DOWNTOWN, DAY

DD is sitting on a sidewalk bench, looking a little more put together than he usually does.  It's just after 5pm and the sidewalks are heavily trafficked.  Tara walks out of an office building in jeans and a sweater.  DD sees her.

DD

Casual Friday, shit.

Tara smiles at him when she sees him, DD smiles back and rises from his bench.

TARA

Hi.

DD

Hi.  Casual Friday, cool.

TARA

Yeah.

They stand facing each other for a moment. DD pecks her on the lips.  This makes Tara happy.

DD

So, drinks?

TARA

Yeah. Um. Any favorites?

DD thinks.

DD

VC?

TARA

I don't think I'm allowed in there.

DD

Yet another story I'll have to hear some time.  Okay, Rialto?

TARA

Only if you expect to lose at pool.

DD

A challenge!  Let's roll.

They start walking.

DD

Remember when we were talking about nice asses?

TARA

You'd better be talking about mine.

DD

Well, of course I am.

TARA

Okay, then.  Carry on.

INT. PADDY'S, DAY

The place is nearly full.  Mix enters and shoulders his way through a mixed crowd and finds an empty seat.  The bartenders, Eric and MATT are hustling back and forth.

MIX

Matt, what up?

MATT

Hey, Mix. Mirror Pond?

MIX

Yeah.

Matt heads to the taps.  Mix looks around while he's waiting.  When Matt soon returns with Mix's beer.

MATT

Where are your boys?

MIX

DD actually has a date.

MATT

No way.

MIX

No one is more surprised than I. This would be date number three, actually.

Matt laughs, a customer pulls him away. Mix's cell rings as he lifts his beer.

MIX

Shit. 

(gets his phone)

Hello?

ALEC

We need you to work tonight.

MIX

What the fuck?

ALEC

A twenty top just made a reservation

MIX

Fuck.

ALEC

I'm calling in Norm and DD, too.

MIX

Good luck with DD. He's on a date. Fine. Fuck you, I'll be in.

Mix ends the call.

MIX

Matt, I need a shot of Goldschlager!

INT. RIALTO, DAY

The room is very smoky and stacked with pool tables.  Tara and DD are playing pool.

TARA

I used to hate this place.

DD

It was very scene.  We used to come here to pollute it.

TARA

You haven't talked about your friends much.

DD lines up a shot.

DD

Neither have you.

DD makes a bank shot.

TARA

Nice.  I have a feeling your friends are a lot more interesting than mine.

DD

Why do you say that?

TARA

I've been pretty boring lately.

DD

Well, good thing you met me.  Side pocket.

DD lines up and misses.

DD

Well, craptacular.

TARA

Don't want to lose to a girl?

DD

I just don't want to seem like a pushover.

There aren't many balls left for either of them.

TARA

You don't have to worry about that.

Tara finds and calls her shot before bending over to aim.

TARA

You're looking, right?

DD

Not at the table.

Tara makes the shot.

TARA

Good.  So, tell me about your friends.

DD

We've mostly known each other since high school. 

TARA

Were you the cool smoking kids?

DD

We weren't cool.  Mix was on the football team but that was the extent of our coolness.

TARA

Mix? That's a nickname, right?

DD turns serious. Tara is taken aback by it.

DD

That is a very long story.

TARA

Okay.

DD

No worries.  So, yeah. I started drinking on the coast and would sneak booze to school when I moved.  They caught onto that and usually had pot, so we spent the later periods altered.

TARA

I can't imagine that.  I went to parochial school.

DD is interested.

DD

Really?

Tara glares.

TARA

Don't. Ask.

DD

Okay.

(pause)

Mix went off to Miami after high school and I hung around.  He came back and well, here we are.

TARA

None of you finished school?

DD

I've taken some classes.

TARA

You've never tried to get your degree?

DD

What's the point?

TARA

The point? Of education?

DD

What am I going to do with a degree? I don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer or, engineer or whatever. I have no interest in trying to climb any corporate's ladder.

TARA

So you're career restaurant?

DD

I guess.

Tara misses a shot.

TARA

Damn. Should have had that one.

DD

Needed some English.

TARA

Yeah.

DD takes over.

DD

What about you? Do you use your college?

TARA

I got a business degree.  I'm using most of it.

DD

That's good.  I know a guy with a degree who pumps gas.  For me it would just be a lot of money for nothing.

TARA

Huh.

DD lines up a shot.

DD

You're looking, right?

TARA

Definitely not at the table.

DD

Awesome.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DINING ROOM, NIGHT

The party is in the back room, but the rest of the place is empty.  Mix sits in the lounge with a drink sketching a diagram of a war robot from a video game. Sara enters looking very glum and sits next to Mix.  After a moment she looks over at what Mix is working on.

SARA

I wish I was smart.

MIX

What?  What kind of talk is that?  You're not stupid.

SARA

You guys make me feel that way sometimes.

Guilty pause from Mix.

MIX

We do?

SARA

Oh, yes.  But not always on purpose. You know, you guys are talking about your books and movies and we're talking about, like, make up and clothes.

MIX

There's really not much difference in those conversations. Geeks talk about books and movies and games and hotties-

Sara scoffs.

MIX

Not hotties?

SARA

I've always been, pretty or whatever.  It's not something I did.  I didn't have to study until two a.m. or practice jump shots in the rain to be pretty.

MIX

(distractedly)

It's better to be lucky than to be good.

(pause)

I think you got a good deal. I'd trade being able to draw to be a few inches taller. Maybe a stronger chin.

SARA

Really?

MIX

Yeah. I know I would, actually.

SARA

I never thought you'd feel that way. You're always so confident.

MIX

I'm not confident, I'm a dick. There's a subtle difference.

Sara laughs a little.  Pause.

MIX

I'm not trying to be insulting, but, um, you're not normally this, reflective.

SARA

Yeah.

(pause)

There's a guy.

MIX

Oh.

SARA

And he's not calling.  Not like guys don't call.  He doesn't want to call.

MIX

Sucks.

SARA

It's so stupid.  I was in a cafe for lunch and I heard some guy talking about a girl he'd gone out with who was "too dumb to fuck" and I was thinking-

MIX

You're not that.

SARA

Really?

MIX

C'mon, you've known chicks like that.  Guys too, probably. Every time they open their mouth you want to stuff something in it before they talk.

SARA

Actually.  Yeah.

(cringes)

Yeah.

MIX

Dated some of them?

Sara is embarrassed.

SARA

Yeah.

Pause.

SARA

Why are you guys so mean to us?

MIX

Well.  Madison and Nicole are just bitches. Am I wrong?

SARA

Um.

MIX

Never mind, I won't make you answer that.  Are we mean to you? Like, at you specifically?

SARA

So I just get the splatter from Madison and Nicole??

MIX

Uh, yeah.

NICOLE (O.S.)

Sara!

SARA

Wonderful.

MIX

Yeah.  I guess that's pretty shitty.

Sara is pleased by Mix's concession.

NICOLE (O.S.)

Sara!!

Sara mutters, then leaves. Mix watches her go then returns to his doodling.

INT. DD'S BEDROOM, DAY

Morning light comes in through the window. DD's bedroom is neat and spare except for an astonishing amount of boyish knicknackery.  Tara comes dashing in and leaps back into bed, snuggling against DD.

TARA

Your bathroom is really nice for two bachelors.

DD

We try.

Silence while Tara plays with DD's hair.

TARA

I've never dated a guy with long hair before.

DD

We're bad men.

TARA

(laughs)

You're not so bad.

DD

Oh, I think you'll find differently.

Tara scoffs, she doesn't realize DD was speaking seriously.  Tara rolls on top of him and they kiss.  She jumps when something slams into the front door.

TARA

What was that?

DD

I think you're about to meet Mix.

NORM (O.S.)

Dude, get up.

DD

And Norm. I'd better close the door.

DD gets out of bed and closes his bedroom door.  He returns as the front door UNLATCHES and Mix and Norm STUMBLE in.

MIX (O.S.)

I wonder how DD's hootchie went?

Tara is surprised.  DD shrugs.

TARA

You must be Mix.

Silence from the living room.

MIX (O.S.)

Whoa.  He scored. How the fuck did he find a chick with judgement that bad?

NORM (O.S.)

Dude, you're not whispering.

MIX (O.S.)

Oh.

NORM (O.S.)

Got any Percosets left?

MIX (O.S.)

Ooh! Good idea.

Pause.  Tara is laughing silently. A door OPENS.

MIX (O.S.)

Dude.

Pills SHAKE as Mix tosses a prescription bottle to Norm.

NORM (O.S.)

Thanks.

A door CLOSES.

DD

So, now that you're never going to see me again.

TARA

Apparently my judgement is bad enough that I am.

DD

I love bad judgement.  We should sneak out to breakfast while those two are passed out.

DD gets out of bed.  Tara happily watches him.  He checks the pipe on his nightstand.

DD

Morning bowl time.  You down?

TARA

I'm so having a college flashback.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

Tara and DD enter.  Norm is sitting on the couch drinking coffee.   He's in bad shape and there's a whisky bottle on the coffee table.

NORM

Hey.

DD

Hey. This is Tara.  That's Norm.

TARA

Hi.

NORM

Hi.

DD

Jesus, you look horrible.  You want I should shoot you?

NORM

I've already considered it.  I took some of Mix's Percoset so I'm actually feeling okay.  Except that my muscles don't want to move.

DD picks up the whisky bottle and takes a pull.  Tara is surprised.

DD

We're gonna get some Army game on, Tara's never played it.

NORM

Ooh, you're in for a treat.

Norm burps. Tara turns green.

DD

Dude, why didn't you just shit your pants? What the hell did you do last night?

NORM

If only I could remember.  We got called in to work for a group, then we went to Sassy's, so there were cherry bombs. Then I think we went back to, um.

MIX (O.S.)

Sammi's.

NORM

Oh, goody, you're alive.

MIX (O.S.)

Fuck you.

NORM

So we went to Sammi's and I don't even know what happened there.

DD

Sammi's rough. I have trouble keeping up with her sometimes.

NORM

I think I picked a fight with her latest boyfriend.

DD

Knowing Sammi's taste in men I bet he deserved it.

NORM

Anyway, he stepped to me and Mix stun gunned him.

Tara's really surprised.

MIX (O.S.)

Drained the batteries, it was fucking awesome.

Mix enters, shirtless.

MIX

Oh, shit.  The light.

DD

Tara, you've met Mix, sort of.

TARA

Hi, I'm DD's hootchie.

MIX

At least one of you has good taste.

DD

That would be me.

MIX

Clearly.  Does anyone have a bowl loaded? I'm too shaky to do it.

DD goes to the bookshelf of games.

DD

On my nightstand.

MIX

Thanks.

Mix leaves.  DD loads the game.

DD

So is Sammi pissed?

Norm and Mix (O.S) laugh.

NORM

No, she totally thinks it was his fault.

DD laughs.  Mix enters with DD's pipe.

MIX

There was only a puff.

DD

Shit, you are shaky.

MIX

I feel like angry leprechauns have been beating me with ball peen hammers all night.

NORM

He has a way with words.

TARA

Apparently.

MIX

After two Percosets.  Please tell me we're not working today.

DD

We're not working today.

mix

Is he lying?

NORM

Yes.

MIX

Why does God hate me so much?

Tara is subtly shocked.

DD

Okay, we're up.  Ready to waste some tangos?

TARA

Yeah.

Tara looks at the manual for a moment, picks up the controller and starts playing.  Within a few minutes she's got it.  Mix and Norm are impressed. 

TARA

This is kind of boring.

NORM

Yeah, the single player is. It's really made for online.  I've got the PC version.

TARA

It's cool.  Definitely no GTA.

The boys are speechless.

MIX

You like GTA?

TARA

Oh, yeah.

NORM

I'll put it in.

Norm leaps over the coffee table.

MIX

Load this, please.

DD produces a baggy and loads the pipe.  Norm brings the game up and Tara enters a sequence on the controller from memory that gives the character many weapons.  She immediately starts killing bystanders with an assault rifle.  The pipe goes around and Tara pauses the game to take a hit.

NORM

I think we're officially impressed.

MIX

I'm impressed.

TARA

Are you talking to me or him?

DD

I'm impressed.

NORM

Both.

TARA

I am pretty impressive.

DD

I'll say.

Mix's phone RINGS from his bedroom.  He leaves to answer it.

MIX (O.S.)

Hello?  Hey, Will.  Nope, we're just hanging.  No doubt, oh, you're in for a treat.  You'll see.  Later.

Mix returns.

NORM

Willow coming over?

MIX

She's downstairs.

NORM

Looks like everyone's hung over.

DD

Almost everyone.

MIX

Yeah, you're a bad influence on him.

TARA

That's a shame.

The door opens and WILLOW, a hippy girl the same age as the boys walks in.

WILLOW

Hey, guys. Oh, a girl. I mean, hi, I'm Willow.

TARA

I'm Tara.

Norm points to DD.  Willow is surprised.

TARA

So, DD never gets laid or something?

Utter silence.

DD

I wouldn't say never.

WILLOW

Can I just leave and walk in again and we'll pretend this never happened?

NORM

Let's just all get wasted and pretend we're friends.

EXT. STREET, DAY

Tara and DD are walking down a busy street.

DD

Well, I suppose that could have been worse.  Somehow.

TARA

I told you your friends are more interesting than mine.

They arrive at Tara's car.

DD

So here we are.

TARA

Yes.

Tara unlocks her car and opens the door.  DD takes her arm and she turns.  They kiss.

DD

Do you have to go?

TARA

If I don't get home soon...

DD

Okay.

Another kiss.

DD

What are you doing tomorrow?

TARA

Um, church. And Sunday is our family day.

DD

Family day?

TARA

I know, it's weird.

DD

It's nice. I, yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.

Tara's happy he thinks that.

DD

After work this week, then. 

TARA

Yeah.  Definitely.

DD

I have to check my schedule, I'll call you.  Might be short notice, though.

tara

Surprise, surprise.

DD sticks his tongue out at her. Tara laughs and they kiss again.

TARA

Bye.

DD

Bye.

Tara gets in and starts the car.  She rolls down the window.

TARA

By the way.  Yes I have one, and yes it still fits.

She drives away.  DD is left stunned.

DD

Whoa.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

DD enters, arms held aloft like a champion.

MIX

Dude!

NORM

She's even hotter than her sister.

MIX

Dude!

NORM

The titties?

DD

Fabulous. And that's all the detail you're getting.

MIX

Dude!

DD

You said that.

MIX

I know, but dude.

WILLOW

She's really cute.

MIX

DUDE!

WILLOW

She seems really nice, too.

This calms them all down.

DD

I know.

Thoughtful silence.

DD

I'll worry about that later.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

Mix and DD are playing a video game.  Willow is napping on the couch.  Norm is gone.

MIX

I've got a problem.

DD

A problem?

MIX

Seriously.

DD pauses the game.

DD

What's up?

MIX

There's this kid at Goodtots, I said this was serious.

DD

Wasn't going to say anything.  Go.

MIX

Terrell.  I got to know him pretty well when I worked there last summer.  He's in school so he's just summers and after school.

DD

Okay.

MIX

He's diabetic and he wants to be a fighter pilot.

DD

Aw, that sucks.

mix

Yeah. But no one's told him.

dd

You're shitting me.

MIX

No.

DD

Fucked up!  You hafta tell him.

MIX

That's what I thought but Sandra says it's not a big deal.

DD

Did she talk to his parents?

MIX

They're the pussies in this scenario.

DD

Huh.

Thoughtful pause.

DD

You gotta tell him.  Fuck the parents.

MIX

And they sue Sandra?

DD

Nah, they won't fucking sue.  Well.  Shit.

MIX

Yeah.

DD

Can Terrell keep it quiet?

MIX

Could you?  Okay, bad example.

DD

No shit.

MIX

I wouldn't have.

DD

He's gotta know.

MIX

I agree.

DD

Maybe you should talk to the parents.

MIX

Really?

DD

Yeah. Tell them a story about a certain fifteen year old.

MIX

Huh.  Not a bad idea.

(pause)

Yeah, I'll think about that.  Thanks, man.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

Mix, DD and Norm are walking along a narrow, poorly lit street on a hillside.  DD is rooting through Mix's backpack.

MIX

I never thought this was a good idea. 

Norm is holding some papers, looking at them with a flashlight.

DD

It's about to get a little better.

DD pulls a bottle of vodka out of Mix's backpack.

NORM

There are several bars up here and we're not a quarter mile away from the first one.

MIX

What are we doing out here, then?

NORM

Looking for a field.  The bridge is just up there and I wouldn't have thought it, but there is a field.

DD

What are you looking at there?

NORM

Satellite photos.  I just don't know how old they are.  I found them on the web.

Norm flips through his papers.

NORM

(continuing)

Should be just ahead. This side of the bridge.

DD opens the bottle and drinks.  Mix takes it next.

DD

Oops, Norm's hands are full.

MIX

Sucks to be him.

NORM

Fuck you.  I think we're here.

DD looks over Norm's shoulder at the papers.

DD

By that tee?

NORM

Yeah. I think that's where we just came from.

DD

Here.

DD tips the bottle into Norm's mouth.

NORM

Thanks.

DD

So where's the field?

NORM

Here.

DD

What's the scale like on this thing?

MIX

Bottle!

DD

Whine!

Mix whines. DD hands Mix the bottle.

NORM

I'm not really sure.  Let's keep walking.

MIX

Because walking is so fun.

They start walking.  Norm checks house numbers and street signs as they walk.

NORM

Here.  This is definitely it.

Norm and DD look at Norm's print out.  Then they look up.  There's a neatly tended house with a car parked in the driveway in front of them.

DD

So it's old.

Norm tosses the papers in the air.

NORM

Yup.

MIX

Surprise.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, DAY

It's after the lunch rush.  DD's standing at a pop fountain with a flask, pouring cola into a glass.  Boyce hands a pipe back to Mix through the window and blows smoke up into the draft hood.  Mix starts to hide the pipe when someone comes into the wait station, but it's only Sara and Uncle Chuck. Sara's a little upset.

UNCLE CHUCK

Yeah, that guy's a fucking dick.  I should have eighty sixed him a long time ago.

Sara and Mix meet glances.  Sara smiles.

MIX

You look like someone who could use a toke.

Shocked silence.

SARA

Yeah, thanks.

Mix hands her the pipe and she hits it.  Chuck takes it next and looks at Mix significantly before sparking.

SARA

Oh, that's much better, thanks. 

Sara touches Mix on the arm as she walks to the back.

DD

Dude, what the-

UNCLE CHUCK

Very nice, my man.

That stops DD.  Mix takes the pipe and puts it away.

UNCLE CHUCK

She's a cutie, and really nice for that.

Chuck signals for DD's flask. DD tosses it to him and Chuck sits on the counter.

UNCLE CHUCK

Sometimes that's all it takes.  Someone you like, someone cute.  I mean, that's basically all it was for me and, and Sandy.

DD and Mix, and Boyce for that matter, are suddenly respectfully still.

UNCLE CHUCK

You just click sometimes, you know? Sometimes nothing comes of it.  But sometimes, hell, thirty years. That's the only reason I keep that damn dog grooming parlor over there.  Because it was hers.

No one responds.

UNCLE CHUCK

Sometimes it just works.

MADISON (O.S.)

Chuck!

UNCLE CHUCK

Oh, hell, if she jammed the credit machine again...

Chuck tosses DD's flash back and leaves.

INT. VERITABLE QUANDARY, DAY

Tara and DD are sitting in a booth, drinks and appetizers in front of them.

DD (V.O)

Hey, I'm off today. Um, I'm calling from a pay phone, so, meet me at Rialto after work?  Bye.

TARA (V.O.)

Hey, is DD with you?

MIX (V.O.)

Nope. Haven't seen him for a few hours.

TARA (V.O.)

Well, when you see him can you tell him I had to work late?

DD (V.O)

Work late? What a lame excuse.  Okay, tomorrow?. Call me at Chuck's before you get off work.

MADISON (V.O.)

Uncle Chuck's.  No, he got cut. Are you really his girlfriend?  Hello?  Hello?

TARA

You need a cell phone.

INT. SOMEONE'S BATHROOM, NIGHT

DD is pissing and talking on a cell with a cigarette in his mouth.  He coughs suddenly and the cell goes into the toilet.

INT. SOMEONE'S BEDROOM, DAY

Crawling on all fours, DD's cell falls onto the floor and he pukes on it.

EXT. BRIDGE, NIGHT

DD and someone are walking across a bridge, playfully struggling over a bottle of tequila.  DD's cell hits the ground and bounces over the side.  DD doesn't even notice.

INT. DD'S OLD BEDROOM, NIGHT

Willow is sleeping in a recliner. She wakes up and finds DD pissing on a stack of things including his cell phone.

WILLOW

DD, you're pee-

DD

Fuck you! Get out of my room! Get out of my house!

INT. VERITABLE QUANDARY, DAY

DD

I have really bad luck with cell phones.

TARA

You told me that, but you missed out on at least one quicky.

DD

You make a compelling argument.  But I have really bad luck with cell phones. I mean, you can't even imagine.

Tara's displeased.

DD

It'll just disappear, or be destroyed.  Poof.  Gone.  No, really.  My friends will back me up.

TARA

Fine.

DD

So when do I face the firing squad?

TARA

Huh?

DD

Your friends.

TARA

Oh.  I hadn't really thought about it.

DD

Ahh, you're ashamed of me.

TARA

Mortified.

DD

And just using me for sex.

tara

Obviously.

DD

That's a relief.

TARA

Jerk!

DD laughs. Tara does a cute fake anger thing.

DD

Aw, you're so cute when you're mad.

TARA

Oh, now you're pushing it, mister.

DD

I give up, I give up.  Actually, that's not, I shouldn't.  Never mind.

DD busies himself with his drink. Tara realizes she's missed something.

TARA

You okay?

DD

Yeah.  Just.  Yeah.

TARA

Alright.

DD recovers.  They have a moment. Tara smiles suddenly.

TARA

Let's do something.

DD

Okay.  What do you have in mind?

TARA

I don't know. Um. When was the last time you made out in a theater?

DD has another quick serious moment, almost too fast to catch.

DD

You know, I don't think I ever have.

TARA

What?  Really?

DD

Really.

TARA

Well, let's correct that.

DD

I'll find a paper.

DD dashes from the booth.

TARA

Does the movie matter?

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

They're leaning against her car kissing.

TARA

I told you it didn't matter what movie it was.

DD

I didn't want something with a lot distraction.  You know, cool explosions and stuff.

TARA

Oh, boys are so silly.

DD

Yes.

Kissing.

DD

You should hang out Saturday.  Maybe, y'know, spend the night?  Friday? And hang out.  All day.

TARA

Going to show me off?

DD

I'm selling tickets.

Tara slugs him.

TARA

You really are rotten!

DD

Good thing you have bad judgement.

TARA

Absolutely.

Kissing.  Then Tara pushes him away reluctantly.

TARA

Okay.  I have to go.  Your hands are straying and it's too nice.

DD

The hell with the phone.  I'll meet you where I met you last Friday.

TARA

Okay.

She leans forward and kisses him quickly, then gets in her car.

TARA

See you then.

DD

Definitely.

Tara drives away.

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

Mix and Sandra are in a room with a window over looking the play floor.  They're discussing something heatedly, not quite arguing.  Outside Terrell draws a picture of a jet.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

Norm collapses and pukes into a grassy drainage ditch.

MIX

Dude, you're partied out!

DD

Again!

Laughter.

DD

I hope you didn't puke on the map.

MIX

I've got it.  It would be right there.

Mix points at a convenience store.

DD

Let me see.  Shit.  Yeah.

MIX

It's too quiet for here us, anyway.

Norm retches again.

MIX

See how that carries?

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S WAIT STATION, NIGHT

Mix is rolling silverware and yawning.  Sara brushes against him as she walks by. They smile at each other.  She continues out of the wait station.

INT. DD'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

DD and Tara are kissing and undressing each other.  They fall into his bed.

INT. DD'S BEDROOM, DAY

DD and Tara haven't JUST finished having sex, but there's some afterglow. Tara is playing with DD's hair.

TARA

I know I'll have something good to wash my hair with.

DD

I'm glad I can be of some use.

TARA

Yeah, you're okay.

DD

That's high praise for me.

DD suddenly sits up, shaking off another serious attack. Tara notices.

DD

I'm kind of hungry.  How about you?

TARA

Yeah, breakfast is good.

DD

First, of course.  The shower.

INT. BREAKFAST PLACE, DAY

Both still damp haired, they've just finished placing orders.

DD

You know, I think this is only the second time I've been here clear headed.

TARA

So am I a bad influence or a good one?

DD

Hmmmm.

tara

Don't think about that too long.

DD

You're an excellent bad influence.

tara

Nice.  Nice.

DD

Thank you.

TARA

Okay, curiosity is killing me. What does "DD" stand for?

DD

Drinking Dog.

TARA

Huh?

DD

Drinking Dog.  It's my, um, Indian name.

TARA

Okay.  What's your real name?

Very serious moment from DD.

DD

That's.  Um.  I don't use my real name.  Except on tax stuff and the like.  I, I don't get along with my family.

TARA

Aw.

DD

It's.  Yeah.

(pause)

DD is my name. Basically.

TARA

But it's. I mean, that's fine but. I mean, we're having sex, and I don't know your real name.

DD

Well, no one calls me that, I mean literally.  And I really want to keep it that way.  You, you know where I live, you know my friends, you know where I work.  You know the important stuff.  I don't know your last name.

TARA

Dawson.

DD

Oh.  Shit.  I know you're close to your family and it might be hard to understand, but, no.  I don't use that name.  That's not me.

TARA

Okay.

Tara's not okay.

DD

I'm not trying to be evasive.  It's just, important to me.

TARA

Okay.

DD

I'm sorry.

TARA

Alright.

Uncomfortable silence.

INT. MIX & DD'S KITCHEN, DAY

Through the window of the breakfast bar, Tara and Mix can be seen playing a fighting game.  DD is in the kitchen with another loser DENT, loading beers into the fridge.

DENT

(whispers)

That's her?

DD nods.

DENT

(whispers)

Very nice.

DD nods enthusiastically.  He takes a few bottles and leaves.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

DD sits next to Tara and pops two beers.  He sets a still capped one in front of Mix.

MIX

Fuck you very much.

DD

Eat me, bitch.

TARA

My job.

General laughter.

Dent enters as someone knocks on the door.  Dent lets Willow and Norm in.

WILLOW

Hey, everyone!

NORM

Fuckers.

Norm plops down on the couch, Willow sits on the floor.  Both produce pints of whiskey.

DD

I see someone hit the liquor store.

WILLOW

It's going to be one of those days.

DENT

I was so hoping someone would say that.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

Mid afternoon and everyone's been drinking.  Tara's phone rings.

TARA

Hello?

EMILY (O.S.)

Hey, where are you?

TARA

DD's, why?

EMILY (O.S.)

I know that, where are you?

tara

Why?

EMILY (O.S.)

I'm in a park by the light rail tracks.

TARA

What?  How did you get there?

EMILY (O.S.)

And what did I say I was standing by?

TARA

Oh, you're such a punk.

The crowd is wondering who she's talking to.

EMILY (O.S.)

Or, I could just wander around the big, bad city.

TARA

Bitch.  I'm at (address), apartment 619.

EMILY (O.S.)

See ya!

DD

Who was that?

TARA

Emily.

NORM

She's coming here??

Tara glares at him.

TARA

Yes.

There's a knock on the door. Norm leaps up to answer it.  It's yet another loser, WORTHY.

NORM

Shit.

WORTHY

Good to see you, too, buddy.

NORM

Oh, it's not-  Come on in.

WORTHY

Sorry, were you expecting the Victoria's Secret catalog?

TARA

Don't answer that!

NORM

Damn, I had such a good one, too.

WILLOW

Hey, Worthy!

Willow leaps up from where she's been writing and hugs Worthy.

WORTHY

Hey.  Hi, you must be Tara.

tara

And you must be Worthy.

WORTHY

I am, quite.  That's my name, too.

TARA

Real name?

DD cringes.

WORTHY

Um, kinda. Anyhoo.  I have some hash.

EVERYONE

Yay!

TARA

Emily doesn't get any.

WORTHY

If she's tasty she gets whatever she-

Tara glares.

WORTHY

Oh, your sister?

TARA

Yes.

WORTHY

Oh, your sister!

TARA

Does everyone know the story?

WILLOW

It is a hell of a story.

TARA

Well, yeah.

Another knock.  Norm leaps up again.  Emily is standing there, rocking the girl's gym class look.

TARA

(under her breath)

Bitch.

EMILY

Hey, I remember you!

NORM

And I remember you.  I'm Norm.

EMILY

Right, yeah.  Can I come in?

NORM

Absolutely.

Emily enters and looks around the room.

EMILY

Ooh, popular place.  Hi, DD!

DD

Hi.

tara

Hi.

EMILY

Hello.  Do I get a beer?

TARA

Can we see your ID?

EMILY

Oh, you're so funny.

Emily bats eyelashes at Worthy.

EMILY

Can I have a beer?

WORTHY

Absolutely.

Worthy leaves.  Tara rolls her eyes.  Worthy returns with a beer for Emily.

EMILY

Ooh, thank you so much.

WORTHY

No problem.

DD

Here's to contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

EMILY

Don't forget M.I.P.  Isn't that how we met?

NORM

Ah, memories.

WORTHY

So, about this hash?

Worthy produces a foil wrapped brick that reveals a baked good.

DD

Oooh, hash shortbread!  You just earned a blowjob.

WORTHY

Do I get to pick who gives it?

DD

Nope, you're stuck with me.

WORTHY

You never pay off.

DD

Funny how that works.

DD rises and gets some money for Worthy.  He soon has a decent sized pile of bills and starts breaking off chunks of the shortbread.  Tara assents when Worthy gives her a questioning look before Emily gets some.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

The room is blurry and voices are heavily muffled.  Smoke fills up the scene.  Tara is wearing a bong made from a World War One gas mask that covers most of the head, including the ears (this is important).

TARA

Holy shit. It's just like college.

Everyone's pretty stoned.  Several people are searching the kitchen and Emily has made herself very agreeable to Dent and Worthy.  Lots of giggling and playing with hair.

DD exits the bathroom.

DD

I had a revelation.

MIX

Your dick is really small.

TARA

False.

ALL GUYS EXCEPT DD

Eww!

DD

Damn right.  But no, about the house.

NORM

Yeah?

DD

Yeah, I was just pissing-

DENT

Both of you, way too much information!

DD

Fuck you.  So I was just pissing-

DENT

What did I just say?

DD

I remembered the night I found that house I was pissing on the roadside and I could see the hospital.

NORM

No shit?  That means we've been looking on the wrong part of the hills.  Hold on, I better remind myself.

Norm gets his cell and starts entering a reminder.

TARA

Are you guys getting a house?

DD

I found one.  I was stumbling around the West Hills on opium-

MIX

After not getting any for us.

DD

And I found a house.  It was abandoned, but it still had power.

TARA

Uh, why is that important?

The guys clearly think this is a dumb question.

DD

Tara!  No rent!  More fun money.

Tara thinks this is a bad idea.

TARA

You'd just squat?

NORM

Exactly.

MIX

I'm not convinced the house is real.

TARA

Squatting.  You're seriously talking about squatting.

DD

Why not? We pay a thousand a month for this place.

DENT

Really?  That's pretty good.

WORTHY

I pay twelve.

DD

And that's a lot of money we could use for other stuff.

NORM

Imagine the size of my 'shroom fund, if I could find any.

MIX

But when you do, you get the entire city's supply.

Tara is incredulous over the squatting idea.

DD

Just thinking about not having to pay rent makes me happy.  We've got to find this place.  You'll check on it?

NORM

I was going to work my way over there on the satellite photos, but I'll jump straight to that part of the hills.

Norm puts his cell away.

NORM

And now I'll remember to do it.

Tara's still not happy with the squatting idea.  Emily gives her a questioning look from where she's entertaining Dent and Worthy.  Tara looks at the rapt expression on the guys' faces and stands.

TARA

I think it's time to get you out of here.

EMILY

What?

TARA

DD?

DD

Oh, yeah.  Okay.  Um, yeah!  Ice cream.

TARA

Oooh, good idea.

(to Emily)

C'mon.

EMILY

Aww.

Tara's expression forestalls further argument.

EMILY

Sorry guys, big sis.

DENT

Yeah.

WORTHY

Okay.

Emily gets up and joins Tara and DD heading for the door.

EXT. STREET, DAY

DD, Tara and Emily are walking down the sidewalk.

DD

Wow, that hash was really good.

TARA

You're such a bitch.

DD

What?

EMILY

She means me.

TARA

You've got pigtails!  When do you ever wear pigtails?

EMILY

I was inspired.

TARA

And the knee socks?

EMILY

Aren't they awful?

DD

Did I miss something?

TARA

I didn't drag her out of there to protect her, I did it to protect your friends.

DD

Oh?

EMILY

C'mon, DD.  How do you think you and Tara hooked up?  I know I can't date guys that much older than me.  But they sure are fun to torment.

TARA

Such a bitch!

EMILY

I had a good tease teacher.

TARA

Hey, now.

Emily drops back to walk next to DD and puts her arm through his.

EMILY

Did Tara ever tell you about her old favorite hobby?

DD

You know, she didn't.

TARA

Okay, not fair.

EMILY

These shorts?  Hers.

DD

Really?  Were you a bad girl, Tara?

EMILY

We are Catholic.

dd

Oh, that's right.

Tara grabs Emily and pulls her off DD.

TARA

Behave.

EMILY

Oh, says the girl who let her little sister take hash.  And this stuff is pretty great.

TARA

It is, isn't it? Way better than the stuff in Illinois.

EMILY

And you're trying to get me to be good!  Ha!

DD

That is kind of silly

TARA

That will be enough out of you.  Ooh, ice cream.

Tara dashes into the ice cream store.  DD and Emily shrug at each other and follow her in.

INT. A STONE COLD CREAMERY TYPE OF PLACE, DAY

There's a short line and the three of them ogle the ice cream vats and bins of stuff to have mixed in.

EMILY

I don't know why you bother looking, you always get the same thing.

DD

I don't think I've ever been in here sober.

TARA

It's not as good sober.  Hi-

EMILY

Don't do it.

TARA

(continuing)

A large coffee ice cream with some of everything chocolate mixed in.

DD

That's a lot of chocolate.

TARA

I love it all.  I have to have it.

DD

It is a lot of chocolate, isn't it?

EMILY

Yeah.  I'll have a half peppermint and half orange sherbet

EVERYONE

Ew!

EMILY

Shut up! With sprinkles.

DD

Definitely insanity in the family.  Definitely.

EMILY

What does that say about you two being together?

DD is thoughtful at "together".

DD

Totally fucking insane.

They sit down with their ice creams.

TARA

Try it.

dd

Boys can't handle that much chocolate.

TARA

Oh, whatever.  Try it.

Tara chases DD's mouth with a spoon.

DD

Fine, fine.  Holy shit that's a lot of chocolate. 

TARA

It's incredible.

EMILY

She doesn't have to be fucked up for that.

TARA

But it helps.  What did you get?

DD

Mint with chocolate chips.

TARA

Boring!  Give me some.  Mmmmm.  Mint's good. I think there's something minty in here.

DD

Those little sandwich candies.

TARA

I love those things. I'm going to need pizza.

DD

Now that's a good idea.  But we have to hit the Pearl for that.  I don't like any of the places around here.

EXT. STREET, DAY

Tara and DD are horseplaying a bit as they walk.  When Tara thinks Emily is ignoring them in faux disgust she kisses DD, but Emily notices.

INT. HOT LIPS PIZZA, DAY

They get in line.

EMILY

I have to pee.

TARA

T.M.I.

DD

Right there.

EMILY

Get me a sausage and pepperoni.

Emily bolts.

DD

They don't have, okay, whatever.

DD puts his arms around Tara's waist as they inch forward. No speaking.  Emily returns and sees them standing like that, gets a little smile before returning.  She resists the temptation to snark at them.

TARA

I'll have a meat special and a, um, pepperoni.

DD

Jeez.  Pepperoni and a bread stick.

EMILY

Aw, no sausage and pepperoni?  I'll go with the meat special, then.

DD

You two are scaring me.

EMILY

We are scary.

TARA

Terrifying.

Tara produces a debit card.

DD

You don't have to do that.

TARA

No, I don't mind.

DD

Sure?

TARA

I do have a job.

EMILY

Jobs suck.

dd

Unless you can get high with your boss at work, then they're awesome.

PIZZA PERSON

Uncle Chuck's! I thought you looked familiar!

TARA

It's a miracle that place stays in business.

EMILY

You can get high at work??

EXT. HOT LIPS PIZZA, DAY

They're sitting on a picnic table.  Tara looks over the wreckage of lunch, which entailed seconds.

TARA

I think the munchies are wearing off.

DD

We can take care of that.

EMILY

My poor little stomach can't handle this much food.  I don't know how you do it.

TARA

I'm going to have to join a gym if this is what my weekends are going to be like.

DD

We do barbecue a lot.

Tara leans against DD, who puts his arm around her.

TARA

I'm going to get fat!

DD

Exercise is important.

tara

So we're having sex when we get back?

DD

Sure.

EMILY

I think I'm going home from here. Tara's noisy.

DD

She is? How would you know?

Tara's blushing like mad.

EMILY

Oh, Tara may have entertained a bit when the folks were at work.

TARA

I'm going to kill you.

DD

You're not really that noisy.

EMILY

Oh, I'm already regretting bringing that up.

TARA

I don't feel the need to do porn star impersonations any more.

Emily covers her ears.

EMILY

La la la, I'm not listening to you!

DD

Does that mean no-

EMILY

Stop!  I'll run away, I swear to God I will.

TARA

We can negotiate.

DD

Awesome.

EMILY

I'm going to barf.

INT. STREET, NIGHT

DD, Norm and Mix are in Dent's car driving down a tree lined windy road on a steep hillside.

NORM

Any of this look familiar?

DD

Kind of.  I think I was looking for a shortcut.

MIX

You'd break your neck trying to go down this.

dent

Or get shot by some assy homeowner.

DD

I was fucked up.  But my point is it didn't look like there was a house. THERE!

Dent stops the car.

EXT. STREET, NIGHT

They pile out and are standing in front of a hedge with a overgrown gravel driveway.  There's a forlorn No Trespassing sign half buried in the hedge.  DD looks around the hedge.

DD

That's it.

He leads the way.  The lights on the car shut off and Dent comes trailing after them.  They're walking under a tree over a lawn large enough to be mistaken for a field.  Everything is unkempt. There's a house with a few lights on inside.

NORM

Maybe someone's already there.

Mix produces a stun gun.  They walk quietly up to the front door.  DD peeks in.  Mix hands him a pocket flashlight and DD shines it in.  Then he flips a switch and the front room lights come on.

DD

Told you.

They enter the house, which is untrashed and not in too bad of shape.  Norm looks at the door, which has a pile of documents stapled to it.

NORM

Probate.

MIX

Huh?

NORM

These are from the court, some kind of probate stuff.

MIX

So this is in someone's will.

DD

And they're fighting over it. That could take years.

DENT

Might explain why the lights are on.  If the court is controlling it.

DD

We're lucky it's not some judge's love den.

They spread out.

EXPLORATION MONTAGE

They explore the house.  The condition, furnishings and lighting is uneven from room to room.  Several water fixtures are tried in the kitchen and bathrooms, there's no water. 

INT. FRONT ROOM, NIGHT

They assemble and look at each other. DD is very excited, Norm is interested, Mix is frowning and Dent is neutral.

DD

Here it is. And here we are.

NORM

It's not bad, really. Neighbors are kind of close, though.  I think someone would notice we were here.

DD

I don't think so, that hedge is pretty tall and looks like it runs all the way around the property.

MIX

There's no water.

DD

Yeah. We'd have to bring up jugs.

MIX

And sponge bath?

DD

You've got a gym membership, shower there.  Dude, a thousand dollars a month for whatever the fuck we want to spend it on.

MIX

I dunno.  We'll get caught eventually.

DD

We know people who've squatted for years!

MIX

In seized houses.  Marco and Blaine lived in a house that had been seized for taxes.

DD

Probate takes forever, man.

NORM

I dunno.  Should be easy to check.  I imagine it's public record.

DD

See?

MIX

And way the fuck up here on the hill?

NORM

What do you think, man?

DENT

My girl would never go for this.

DD

Dude, this is awesome.  No water stains, no critters.

MIX

Let me sleep on it.  We've got a month left on our lease, no rush.

DD

Yeah.  Norm?

NORM

I've got like three months.

DD

Okay.  Yeah, that'll work.  Dude, this is so fucking awesome.  C'mon, I'll buy the first round.  Let's roll.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, NIGHT

Mix and DD are watching TV.  Mix's cell rings.

MIX

Hey Tara.  Yeah, he's here.  Hold on. 

Mix tosses the phone to DD.

DD

Hey, what's up?

TARA

Can I come over?

DD

Of course.

TARA

I'm off work so I'll be by in a bit.

DD

Do you want to meet somewhere?

TARA

(pause)

No.  I'll just come to your place.

DD

Sure thing.  See ya.

TARA

See you.

DD tosses the phone back.

MIX

It's disgusting, the way she throws herself at you.

DD

Dude, it so rocks.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, NIGHT

Tara enters, in a business suit.  She seems nervous and has a carry on bag with her.

DD

Look at her all dressed up.

MIX

Wow.

TARA

Thanks.

MIX

There's beer in the fridge.

TARA

Oh, thanks.

Tara sits next to DD with a beer a moment later. DD kisses her, she doesn't quite kiss back.

DD

What's up?

TARA

Just wanted to hang out.

DD

Cool.

They watch TV.

INT. DD'S BEDROOM, DAY

Tara is sitting on DD's bed. She's removed her jacket and shoes but is otherwise clothed.  DD is looking through his DVDs.

DD

We found that house.

Pause.

TARA

Yeah?

DD

Yeah, it's in pretty good shape.

TARA

Oh.

(pause)

So, are you moving?

DD

We're thinking about it.  I don't think Mix is convinced but he'll come around.

Pause.

TARA

Squatting.  That's pretty heavy, don't you think?

DD

Yeah, it's weird. But the house is in really good shape and has no rent.  That's pretty huge.

She looks down. DD sits next to her and starts fussing with something below frame.

TARA

It's a thing, though. Living like that. It's a statement, really. That's why it's such a big thing with punks, right? It's a big fuck you and it's not caring.  It's saying nothing's important and we'll just stay here because it doesn't matter anyway.  I don't think it's good to think like that.  It's important to care.  Right?

Tara is just getting warmed up. She finally looks at DD, who's wearing the gas mask bong.  She looks at him bleakly. After a moment DD peels it off.

DD

You want to hit this?  Shit, you were saying something, weren't you?

Tara forces a smile.

TARA

It's not important.

Tara takes the bong from his hands and puts it on the floor, then tackles him with a kiss.

DD

Ooh, and it's on!

INT. DD'S BEDROOM, NIGHT

It's morning.  Tara is putting on the business suit she packed when DD wakes up.

DD

Leaving already?

Tara freezes, but DD's question is innocent.

TARA

I can't do this any more.

DD

Do what?

TARA

I, I just can't be with someone who tries so hard to not care about anything.

DD

Oh.

Tara waits, but DD has nothing to say.  She finishes dressing, stuffs yesterday's suit into her carry on and stands.

TARA

I hope you find your way, DD.  Bye.

Tara leaves.

INT. MIX & DD'S LIVING ROOM, DAY

DD is eating cereal, watching TV. Mix comes out of his bedroom, looking at the TV.

MIX

Tara left already?

Pause.

DD

She's gone.

Mix doesn't react, doesn't look away from the TV.  Long pause.

MIX

Well, that had to happen.

Long pause.

DD

Yup.

Pause.

MIX

Huh.

Mix goes into the bathroom.

EXT. LIGHT RAIL PLATFORM, DAY

Mix and DD arrive at the platform.

MIX

I gotta head to Goodtots.

DD

I thought you were done.

MIX

Last day.

DD

Okay.

Pause

DD

Guess I'm clear for the house now, huh?

MIX

I'm not moving.

DD

Dude!

MIX

There's no water, it's in the hills and we don't have a car.  It's tempting, really, dude.  But, I'm not down.

DD isn't happy but accepts it.

DD

Okay.

MIX

It's got some potential for parties, but living there?  No way.  And you're single again, have you seen the chicks who are into that stuff?  I don't want to bang no mohawked bitch.  Not with one on her head, anyway.

DD laughs reluctantly.

DD

Yeah, okay.

MIX

Sorry, man.

DD

It's cool.  Hey, train's coming. See ya.

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

Mix and Sandra are sitting in a meeting room.

SANDRA

This is a terrible idea, you know.

A couple in their thirties, Terrell's parents ALEX and MINA, are shown in.  Sandra and Mix stand to greet them.

SANDRA

Hi, thanks for giving up your lunch for this meeting.

ALEX

I think this is something we've already discussed.

MINA

Honey.

MIX

I asked her to call you.

SANDRA

Mina, you've already met Robert.  He works here for me sometimes and he's very close to Terrell.  Please, can we all sit down?

They all sit.

MIX

Terrel told me about his ambition and I've talked to Sandra about it. And I think it's important that you hear the story of a certain fifteen year old.

INT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DINING ROOM, DAY

Lunch rush is over and Madison is rolling silverware on a table.  DD is not far away with a little vacuum cleaner.

MADISON

What is that girl doing?

DD looks up.  Emily is looking through the front window.

DD

Shit.

EXT. UNCLE CHUCK'S DAY

Emily's angry. DD's confused.

DD

What are you doing here?

EMILY

What did you do to Tara?

DD

I didn't do anything to her.

EMILY

Then why did you make her break up with you?

DD

I didn't. She decided that.

Emily realizes he's just as sad about this as Tara is.

EMILY

Then why did she break up with you?

DD

I don't know. I guess I'm not good enough for her.

EMILY

That's, no, that's not right. Tara doesn't think like that. What happened?

DD

I guess I'm just not boyfriend material.

Emily looks to say something.

DD

She just left, Emily.  We didn't fight, there wasn't anything that happened.  She just didn't want me anymore.

EMILY

Then why is she at home right now just staring at the walls? Come on, DD, you wouldn't even tell her your real name.

DD

I didn't think that bothered her.

EMILY

Of course it bothered her, how could it not? I know you like her, I saw you two together.  I don't understand this.  I really liked you and my sister liked you so much.

DD

I like her, too.  It just wasn't going to work out, alright?

EMILY

That's what she said.

DD says nothing. Emily watches him. She figures it out.

EMILY

You. You weren't even trying, were you?

DD

Yeah, because everything works if you just try.

EMILY

DD, don't.  Don't do this.  You have to try.  You can't just give up.

DD

Give up?  Give up on what?

EMILY

On my sister.  On you.

DD

Oh-.  Okay, listen carefully.  I know that being sixteen and hot you think everything's sunshine and roses, but love fails.  Every day, all the time.  It's not reliable.

EMILY

Because people don't try. They don't care, no listen to me.  Look at me.  I see it.  I see it all the time. I watch my friends parents fall apart and I see my parents stay together.  Because they try, they don't let themselves stop loving each other.

DD

Emily-

EMILY

You can laugh if you want, the little girl talking about love, but I see this.  You're just making excuses because you're afraid to try.  You and Tara are great together.

DD

That's just chemistry.  It goes away.

EMILY

Not if you don't let it.

Nothing from DD.

EMILY

Not if you don't let it.  You and Tara will work.  She wants you, DD, I know it, I feel it.  Just try.  Please.  Just try.  For my sister.  For you.

Nothing from DD.

EMILY

I hated you when she told me, because you made her sad, but you're sad, too.  I can tell.  Don't do this thing that you don't want to do. Don't give up.

DD won't look at her.  Emily touches him.  He looks up.

EMILY

Don't give up.  You have to try.  Please.

Emily leaves.  DD stares at the space she occupied.

INT. GOODTOT'S DAYCARE, DAY

Mix, Sandra, Alex and Mina are in the meeting room.  Terrell is shown in. He stalls in the doorway.

TERRELL

What's going on?

MIX

You're not in trouble.

TERRELL

Really?

ALEX

Really, champ.  Come here.

INT. LEASING OFFICE, DAY