Doom's World » Humor

Hilarious review of a terrible book

JW — Sat, 16 May 2009 19:17:58 +0000

Yet another wonder from tvtropes.org.

I quote (without link, for a certain someone who can’t read underlined text, apparently).

“Deciding the wait for the woman’s bathroom is too long, Louise slips into the men’s room in hopes of relieving herself quickly. There she is assailed by the stench of the men’s room and the sight of the gorgeous man at the urinal:

‘And the sight of the huge cock the knight is holding in his right hand as he shakes off the last few drops of pee is even more dazzling.’”

Oh yeah.

Twilight: The Abridged Version

JW — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:19:36 +0000

Suddenly, ROBERT PATTINSON enters. The paleness of him and his family members reach blinding levels while the squeals in the movie theater reach deafening levels.

KRISTEN STEWART
Who’s the albino Wolverine?

Thank you, TV Tropes for linking me to that. Bless you, sirs. Bless you.

British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.

JW — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 08:12:55 +0000

Uncomfortable plot summaries.
The above is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There’s a ton more here, I’ll quote a just a few from my favorite movies.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents. (MESSAGE!)

I laugh. You laugh. All happy.

Nice word, I’ll keep it.

JW — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 03:54:55 +0000

What I love about cracked.com is it’s funny, but smart. They don’t need to make shit up to make you laugh (look up the list of laws that don’t work for a prime example).

On a related note, what I love about English is how we shamelessly jack words from weaker, dumber languages. What are you gonna do about it? Huh? You gonna cry? That’s right, bitch, this is my word now.

Ahem. Sorry.

The 10 Coolest Foreign Words English needs.

My favorite is #7. “Backpfeifengesicht”, defined as “A face badly in need of a fist.” In context, “That soccer player is seriously backpfeifengesicht.” Because it’s true. But, um, anyone know how to pronounce that?